


Finding Forever

by stephrc79



Series: More Than Human [2]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Supernatural Elements, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2021-01-15 02:41:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21246152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stephrc79/pseuds/stephrc79
Summary: At the beginning of the twentieth century, the world shuddered on the brink of armageddon. As nation after nation fell into war, supernaturals came out of hiding, risking their immortal lives to fight beside the humans and win acceptance in the world.In the years after the Great War, many werewolves have withdrawn back into the wild. Hannes Oberhauser, James Bond's mountaineering instructor and surrogate father, manages the preserve outside Feldkirch, Austria. And in 1939, Oberhauser brings James to the Feldkirch Werewolf Preserve to meet them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kryptaria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kryptaria/gifts).

> This story is a prequel to More Than Human, though you don't need to have read that one to enjoy this. World history has been slightly changed by the introduction of werewolves and vampires in the events of WWi.  
~~~~
> 
> This work was also created and is officially co-authored by kryptaria. The original work was deleted by them without my consent or knowledge of, prior to permanent deletion. Work has been gifted to them for the sole-purpose of AO3’s search function. All original notes and thank yous can be found in the end notes.

**Spring 1939**

James stepped out onto the back porch of the stout cabin, scanning the thick woods for any sign of life. “So, where are they?”

“Patience, boy.” Herr Oberhauser joined him and leaned against the railing. “They know I’ve brought a stranger here. They’re very territorial. They don’t like strangers in their domain.”

“But they’re human,” James protested, trying to hide his disappointment. Even though werewolves had been known for almost twenty years, he’d never seen a werewolf in person, only on newsreels. Of course, twenty-five years ago, just a few years before James had been born,  _ no one _ had ever seen a werewolf and lived to tell the tale. Twenty years ago, they’d come out of hiding — both werewolves and vampires — and helped end the Great World War.

“They’re also wolf,” Oberhauser said, resting a fond hand on James’ shoulder for a moment. “We had a long drive. You stay out here and keep watch, if you’d like. I’ll get dinner started.”

Remembering his manners, James smiled and said, “Thank you, sir.” Oberhauser grinned in response, teeth white against his short, bushy beard, before he went back inside.

For three years, Oberhauser had been James’ mountaineering instructor and mentor. Through his teachings, James had conquered the Aiguille de la Persévérance — the mountain where his parents had died. When Oberhauser had asked how James wanted to celebrate, James hadn’t even paused to consider his answer: He wanted to meet a werewolf.

The Feldkirch Feral Werewolf Preserve was one of a dozen stretches of natural forest in Europe set aside for the werewolves who preferred to live away from civilisation. Hannes Oberhauser was the custodian of the preserve, and he was rumoured to be one of the world’s leading experts on werewolf culture.

Of course, whether or not they  _ had _ a culture was up for debate. Even the word ‘werewolf’ was a matter of contention. ‘Werewolves’, as everyone knew, changed shape under the full moon. They were monsters preying on humans, with no memory of their true selves. James had heard all the legends. Privately, his teachers swore they were true, claiming that no one had ever seen a werewolf outside the full moon, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

But James had been born  _ after _ the Supernatural Revelation. Science was already unlocking all the mysteries of the universe. It was just a matter of time before science figured out how werewolves and vampires could possibly exist.

And that could lead to an understanding of death itself. Werewolves — like vampires — were supposedly immortal.

~~~

The wind carried the smell of smoke into the trees. It wasn’t a forest fire. It wasn’t the Custodian’s fire or the oil he burned in his lamps. It was a  _ new _ type of smoke, pungent and strange.

Last year’s fallen leaves were already soft underfoot. His paws made no sound as he padded across new spring growth. He slipped between the trees, pausing twice to rub against the bark, trying to scratch away clumps of shedding fur. He could have shifted, but that made the itch worse, as if the fur were trapped beneath his skin. He’d tried it seasons ago and ended up bleeding from his own blunt human claws.

The Custodian’s cabin was set in a clearing. He stopped at the edge of the trees, where the shadows would hide his pale fur, and narrowed his eyes against the bright light. Two oil lamps hung at the back of the cabin, filling the darkness with flickering gold light.

And there between them was a human. A human who  _ wasn’t _ the Custodian.

This one was tall and lanky, with short hair the colour of sunlight. He was bundled in layers of clothing, staring out into the night. The burning smell came from his hand, where he held something thin and narrow, glowing at one end.

A new human.

In  _ his _ territory.

~~~

Even in summer, night-time in the forest was chilly. Wrapped up in a tweed overcoat, James lit a Turkish cigarette and held his hand cupped over the match until it burned down to his fingers. He finally dropped the match into the ashtray Oberhauser had provided, along with a lecture on potential forest fires. Then he closed his eyes, waiting for his vision to adjust to the darkness once more.

Before he opened them, he knew.

_ He wasn’t alone. _

His breath caught. Slowly, he lowered the cigarette and opened his eyes.

A pale shape slipped between the trees, nearly invisible in the darkness.

In German, James called, “Hallo? You can come out. I’m —”

“James?” Oberhauser stepped out onto the porch, and the pale shape disappeared into the night.

_ Sodding hell, _ James thought, taking a deep drag of smoke. “One of them was here,” he complained. “You scared it away.”

“As I said, they know I’ve brought a stranger. But it’s after midnight, and there’s plenty of time for them to get used to your smell.”

“Is that necessary?”

Oberhauser nodded and took away the cigarette. He stubbed it out in the ashtray, crushing every last glowing ember. “It’ll take time, James. Come back inside and go to bed. Tomorrow, we’ll hike one of the safe trails.”

“To where the werewolves live?” James pressed, looking back out at the trees. He’d seen one of them. He was  _ certain _ of it.

“No. But we’ll go to one of the places they allow me to visit.” Oberhauser took hold of James’ shoulders and added, “But you  _ must _ swear to me you’ll not go there alone, boy. They’ll only accept you if I’m there. These are feral werewolves, boy. Even if some of them look human, they aren’t.”

A shiver of fear raced down James’ spine. He swallowed, his throat tight.

“Swear it, boy. By the blood of your family, swear you won’t go out there without escort.”

James nodded, looking up into his mentor’s face. “I swear.”

~~~

The next morning over breakfast, James asked, “Are there really werewolves living with humans?  _ As _ humans?”

Oberhauser nodded, stirring sugar into his coffee. “There are. I know a few — though I’m sworn not to reveal their identities. Humans are still unwilling to accept them, no matter how helpful they were in the war. They think the werewolves are monsters.”

James looked at the nearby desk, piled high with notebooks and pages of Oberhauser’s observations. He’d been openly studying werewolves for nine years, though James suspected he’d known them — or  _ of _ them — for far longer. “But it’s the  _ vampires _ who drink human blood.”

“And who look ‘normal’,” Oberhauser said grimly. “With their fangs hidden away... why,  _ I _ could be a vampire, and you wouldn’t know it.”

“Except for the way your skin tanned and burned without catching fire during last summer’s climb.”

Oberhauser barked out a laugh. “There’s that, but I’ve heard vampires can go about in the sun for a short time, at least. Under a proper coat and hat, they’re at no more risk of burning than any of your fair-skinned highborn ladies.”

James couldn’t hide his shudder. He stabbed a fork into the last bit of sausage and ate it with angry bites. Vampires were nothing more than carrion that happened to still be able to walk and talk. But werewolves had beating hearts and could walk unharmed in the brightest sunlight and could even have children, if they chose. They were still  _ humans _ , or close enough to hardly matter.

“Come on, boy,” Oberhauser said as he set down his now-empty coffee cup. “Put on your coat and gloves. Let’s go find some werewolves.”

~~~

The preserve took up a spreading valley and the mountains to either side. Wire fencing bordered the forest along old trails once used for skiing and hiking; the rest of the border was marked by warning signs.

Oberhauser led James along the border for some distance before finally turning off to the right, heading down into the valley. As part of James’ mountaineering lessons, he’d studied rudimentary tracking, but he could see no evidence of footprints, other than plentiful deer. No human or wolf prints, and certainly nothing to show evidence of a half-man half-wolf form, if it even existed.

“If we get separated, go up the slope,” Oberhauser instructed quietly as he walked. “Even I don’t go too deep into the valley without invitation.”

“Yes, sir,” James said absently with a nod. He wasn’t really paying attention. He was too busy looking around, scanning for any signs of life, like the one he’d seen the night before.

“The area’s a haven for deer, but you’ll see small game, too,” Oberhauser said, gesturing at a clear set of tracks that looked like they might be rabbit. “They hunt, most of the time, but I’ve managed to trade with them a few times — mostly pelts for things they don’t have. Bread, clothes, sweets.”

James glanced over at Oberhauser in surprise. He’d never imagined a werewolf would like candy, of all things.

They kept walking until they stopped by a stream with a small waterfall. The stream headed downslope, where it met up with the main river that ran along the bottom of the valley.

As they stopped in front of the stream, the slow trickle of water surprisingly soothing against James’ excitement, he said, “I have some PEZ on me. Do you think they might like that?”

Oberhauser sat down on the rocks and opened the rucksack he carried. “I think so,” he said approvingly, digging through the contents. He took out the vacuum flask of coffee and unscrewed the top. “It’s always a good idea to negotiate...”

Whatever else Oberhauser said was lost as James caught sight of movement off to his right, close to the waterfall. His heart skipped before thudding hard in his chest as a streak of white moved through the trees.

Without thinking, James turned, tracking the movement. He caught glimpses of fur when the creature —  _ a werewolf? _ James wondered hopefully — darted between the trees. It finally stopped behind one particularly large pine, and James went still, hoping not to startle whatever it was.

Not one to get caught unawares, Oberhauser had also fallen silent. Slowly, he leaned forward and put down the vacuum flask, with the lid balanced on top. As he sat back up, he put a warning hand on James’ arm.

“Sit, boy,” Oberhauser said softly, pressing James’ arm.

James ignored Oberhauser and took a tentative step forward. There was definitely something there — a flash of pale white fur, the faint cloud from hot breath. And it had to be a werewolf, because, God, it was  _ huge _ . Much bigger than James had expected.

Then it stepped deliberately into sight, paws splashing quietly into the stream, and James was very glad he hadn’t followed Oberhauser’s order to sit. The wolf’s head was as high as his chest. Its legs were long and thin, its body slender, though its tail was thick and bushy with fur. Its head was down, gold eyes looking intelligently from Oberhauser to James and back.

“Hallo, Alec,” Oberhauser said, his deep voice calm.

“You know him?” James asked with quiet reverence. He didn’t look away from the werewolf and took another tentative step forward.

Oberhauser nodded, relaxing a bit. “Alec Trevelyan, born twenty years ago to Edwin Trevelyan — one of you Englishmen — and Marta.”

The werewolf —  _ Alec _ — crossed the stream slowly, showing no sign of understanding Oberhauser’s speech. As he stepped out of the water, he shook each paw, splattering mud to the sides. With his white fur shedding in clumps and lean, gangly build, he was no neatly groomed prize hound; no one would mistake him for anything other than a wild, feral creature. But the intelligence in his eyes was obvious, at least to James, and when he stopped and opened his jaws, showing long white fangs, James could almost imagine him smiling.

James smiled back. “It’s nice to meet you, Alec,” he said. “I’m James.” Screwing up his courage, he took a few more steps forward, putting him almost within touching distance of Alec. He felt a sudden urge to close the distance even further so he could touch Alec’s fur, but he remembered something Oberhauser had said about werewolves finding that sort of touch intimate. If he tried, he wasn’t sure Alec wouldn’t try to attack him.

Alec crouched down, not quite sitting. He lowered his head and inhaled — or so James thought, at first, watching as Alec’s body seemed to go tense.

And then, between one breath and the next, he was no longer a wolf, but a slender, muddy young man with long blond hair hanging around his face and eyes that were still wolf gold.

“Custodian,” he said, his voice rough. The German word was mumbled, almost slurred — unpracticed. He barely flicked a glance at Oberhauser before he went back to staring intently at James. “Is trade.”

“Is what —” Obserhauser began, rising. “James? No.” He huffed out a quiet laugh. “James is a friend.”

Alec rose from his crouch, entirely unashamed of his nudity. In human form, he had the same rangy, almost underfed build. He walked towards James, weight balanced on his toes.

James felt himself start to take a step back and froze. He glanced warily at Alec, afraid of startling the werewolf. He cleared his throat and glanced at Oberhauser before turning back to Alec. “Yes, I’m a friend.” He pointed at Oberhauser. “A friend of his. For a long time now.”

Alec didn’t shrug. He didn’t react to that at all, and James wondered just how much German the werewolf understood. It felt almost as if Oberhauser didn’t exist for Alec, he was fixated so completely on James.

Even without the fangs, it was a little unnerving.

Without saying anything, Alec kept walking to James, until they were just a foot apart. There was no sign at all that he felt the cold air pouring off the high mountains or the light spray from the nearby waterfall. Under the dirt, his skin was healthy and unscarred.

The gold in Alec’s eyes slowly bled away to a deep, brilliant green. He still had his mouth open just slightly — not slack and stupid but to breathe deeply, as if tasting the air. “James,” he said thoughtfully. “Is not live here.”

“He’s English,” Oberhauser said, “not Austrian.”

A shift brought Alec even closer. He was filthy enough that the smell should have been overpowering, but all James could smell was the earth and forest. As the werewolf leaned in, James flinched and stepped away, out of Alec’s reach.

Alec leaped back, hitting the earth not with feet but with paws. A twist, a flash of his tail, and then he kicked up a spray of mud as he leaped the stream and disappeared into the woods on the other side.

Shocked and surprised, James took a step after Alec before stopping. He hadn’t meant to scare Alec away; he’d just been caught off-guard.

With dismay, he turned to Oberhauser and asked, “Will he come back?”

Oberhauser gave him a reassuring smile. “He was greeting you — learning your scent. You, hmm... refused a handshake, you could say. He’ll give you another chance, I expect. He seemed to take to you.”

“Okay,” James said with a brief nod. He glanced back in hopes of seeing a streak of white, but when there was none, he finally turned and walked back to Oberhauser with a resigned sigh. “I just... I don’t know. I guess I didn’t understand.” He frowned and glanced back again.

“There’s far too much to learn about them in one day, boy,” Oberhauser said, picking up the vacuum flask. “Sit down and have something hot to drink. We’ll walk a bit more, maybe see some of the others.”

“All right,” James answered and finally tore his eyes away from where he’d first seen Alec. Of course he wanted to see more of the werewolves, but he couldn’t stop feeling the disappointment of watching Alec run away. James didn’t know if it was Alec’s boldness, his vibrancy, or just the fact that he was James’ first interaction with a werewolf. All he knew was that he wanted  _ Alec  _ to come back.

~~~

_ James _ .

He ran down one of the high trails, at the edge of his territory, heading for the Custodian’s cabin, but he paid no attention at all to the forest around him. He’d need to hunt, but that could wait. Or he could find food at the cabin. That might be a better option, avoiding the distraction of the hunt for the much more interesting new human the Custodian had brought him.

Then it occurred to him that James was living at the Custodian’s cabin. His scent would be there. And he probably had  _ things _ , all the useless trinkets humans collected like magpies and ravens collected bright feathers and flowers for their nests.  _ Things _ that James had collected would have his scent. There would be something small, something easily carried away without the need to shift out of his fur.

Food, then a search for something James had collected. He could be to the cabin, done, and away into the forest long before the humans, walking on two feet, were even halfway back.

Even better. He could find somewhere dark and private from which to learn James’ scent and watch — and to warn away anyone else who came too close.

~~~

James walked into the cabin, feeling no better than he had after Alec had taken off. He and Oberhauser had sat for a while before exploring the area for more werewolves, but they’d found none. More importantly they’d found no more signs of Alec.

Ever since he was a boy, James had dreamed of seeing a werewolf. It had been everything he’d expected; he’d just wished it had lasted a bit  _ longer _ than the few brief moments he’d got to spend with Alec. He wished he hadn’t been so bloody stupid and scared Alec away.

Distantly, he heard Oberhauser mention something about a late lunch, but he ignored it in favour of heading for his room. He wasn’t really in the mood for company, and he certainly wasn’t hungry.

He pushed open his door, only to stop in his tracks. He had yet to unpack his suitcase. After getting dressed that morning, he’d closed the suitcase and shoved it into one corner of the room, just in case Oberhauser decided to spot-check his room.

Now, the suitcase was in the middle of the floor, lid thrown open, clothes spilling out. James’ first thought was that he’d been robbed — it had happened at school, though he’d always got everything back, in the end. But that was ridiculous. No one had been here, except him and Oberhauser —

And apparently a certain white-furred wolf, he thought when he spotted the fine white hairs  _ everywhere _ .

Had Alec been in his room? When?  _ Why? _

James walked in and closed the door. He crouched down to examine one of his jackets. The dark charcoal wool was  _ covered _ in shed fur, and one sleeve was damp. Baffled, he sorted through everything, trying to remember what he’d packed. His engraved hunting knife was still there, as was the multi-tool Oberhauser had given him back when he’d first started taking climbing lessons. He didn’t have anything else of value.

Only his light blue shirt was missing — the shirt he’d worn for a day and a half straight, on the trip to Feldkirch. Alec had come back here and  _ stolen James’ shirt _ .

But why? James’ shirt wouldn’t fit Alec properly.

Still, James couldn’t find it in himself to be upset about the theft. In fact, he was delighted that Alec had come here specifically to steal something of his — that Alec  _ wanted _ something of his. Perhaps he hadn’t scared Alec away after all.


	2. Chapter 2

Well after dark, the new human, James, was still there at the back of the Custodian’s cabin. Lamps flickered overhead, and that fragrant smoke filled the air once more, from whatever burned in James’ hand.

Two tender young spring rabbits were more than enough to make up for the food and shirt. Eyes fixed on James, Alec padded silently out of the line of trees, carrying the rabbits in his jaws. The Custodian wasn’t visible, though his scent was strong. He was inside, with another fire burning to warm the cabin.

James continued to look around, his gaze not really falling on anything. When he finally spotted Alec, he froze, his eyes going wide. After a second, he slowly began to smile and crushed the burning thing on some sort of plate, extinguishing it.

“Alec,” he said quietly.

Alec carried the rabbits across the yard and dropped them on the raised wood where James was standing. Licking blood off his muzzle, Alec took a step back and looked up at James, wondering if he’d accept the trade.

James looked curiously at the rabbits, then back at Alec, eyebrows raised. “Are those for me?”

The shift out of his fur was effortless. Alec rose and took hold of the wood where James was leaning. He climbed over, growling when the wood splintered and scraped at his thin human skin.

James’s hand twitched toward Alec as he took a step forward. “Don’t hurt yourself,” he warned too late.

The raised wood underfoot was slightly warmer than the earth. Alec looked at James, who was covered up, with only his head and hands exposed to the air. Should James be out at all? Humans were always turning up dead from the cold. The pack found their bodies all the time, at least once every winter.

Alec wanted to ask. He wanted to talk about the night, about his run and his hunt for the rabbits, to assure James he’d been careful to only take two from the warren, leaving enough to breed more, but he didn’t have the words.

He growled in frustration and instead moved to the side, circling James. How big was he, under everything that covered him? The Custodian was a great bear of a human, as big as an adult werewolf in half-shift, but James was shorter. More slender.

Alec stopped behind James, absently leaning in to smell his hair and feel the warmth of his body. A sharp, artificial smell tickled his nose, and he backed away, sneezing and rubbing his face against his arms.

“What —” James looked back at him, seemingly startled. He watched Alec before letting out a short laugh. “I’m sorry, is it my aftershave?” He rubbed a hand against his own face. “It’s something I put on when I —” He stopped and glanced around, confused. “After I take off my own... face fur?” He made a dragging motion against his cheek. “I put it on after to make it not sting.”

James’ words made little sense. Alec watched James’ hand instead, then moved around to one side and leaned in to feel James’ skin against his own face. It was sharp where James had lost hair that had grown in. So he  _ wasn’t _ young after all? It hadn’t occurred to Alec to wonder, because James didn’t seem to be a juvenile in other ways.

Both sides of his face were unpleasantly scratchy, stinging Alec’s cheek and jaw. The smell, once he got used to it, wasn’t bad — just sharp and surprising. His cheek, above the cut hair, was softer to touch.

Only now, up close, did Alec notice just how blue his eyes were, like the morning sky.

“I’m glad you came back,” James murmured, giving Alec a warm smile. He held perfectly still, as though waiting to see what else Alec would do.

That, he almost understood. The Custodian had said it before. It was an invitation to leave and return again.

Not that he was going anywhere right now. He growled in quiet warning and ducked his head, nosing at James’ neck, careful not to go near the soft underside of his throat. He didn’t want this mistaken for an attack. In truth, he knew he should probably back away, but he couldn’t. He’d been away from the pack for so long, he craved touch and warmth, even from a human. Especially from an  _ interesting _ human.

“Trade,” he said, even though he knew the word was wrong. It was the closest he could come to expressing what he wanted.

“Trade?” James said, voice rising. He tilted his head back to look at Alec, confusion in his eyes. “You already took my shirt. You want something else?” he said in the same way.

There were nuances that Alec was missing, but that was all right. Careful, wary that James might pull away, Alec leaned his weight against James’ body and closed his eyes. Then, just to be certain that James understood, Alec said, “James friend.”

“Friend,” James repeated, but without the change in his voice. As if he agreed. He smiled again at Alec. “I understand friend, yes.”

That was near enough to Alec’s meaning to satisfy him, for now. After one last brush against James’ face, one last breath to capture James’ scent, Alec turned away. He vaulted over the wood, slipping into his fur, and landed on all four paws on the earth. James would see to it that the Custodian got the rabbits. And Alec would come back soon, to see James again.

~~~

It was only as Alec disappeared into the trees that James realised he’d barely taken a breath the entire time Alec had been there.

He had been so disappointed at the way he’d startled Alec into leaving earlier, and he hadn’t expected the werewolf to return so soon. As much as he’d hoped, and regardless of Alec having been in his room, he was certain that it would be a while before he saw that streak of white fur again.

And Alec hadn’t been scared. Normally, James would have been unnerved at someone invading his space like that, especially someone so... male. That just wasn’t done.

But it felt different with Alec somehow. James suspected it was because Alec was feral and probably didn’t know any better. And truthfully, he hadn’t minded as much as he probably should have. Wasn’t that a thought?

With a shake of his head, James smiled and looked down at the ‘gift’ Alec had left. He eyed the two rabbits speculatively, not quite sure if he should take them into Oberhauser. He didn’t want to deny Alec’s gift, but this wasn’t a kill done with clean bird shot. A wolf that lived dirty in the woods had killed these creatures and then carried them around in his mouth.

No matter what, though, in case Alec was watching, he couldn’t leave them on the porch. He picked up both rabbits and turned, walking back into the cabin.

“Sir!” he called out. “We had a visitor!” He walked into the kitchen and deposited the rabbits in the sink.

He heard Oberhauser’s footsteps thump down the stairs. “One of the wolves, boy, or an outsider?” Oberhauser shouted before he came to the kitchen doorway.

James turned to smile at Oberhauser. “It was Alec. He brought us” — he turned back to eye the rabbits again — “a gift.”

Oberhauser’s dark, bushy brows rose in surprise. “He did?” he asked, walking to the sink. Then he laughed, picking up one of the carcasses. “Well, it seems he’s not upset at all that we were in their territory. Or  _ his _ territory, if he’s claimed the falls for himself. Get us a couple of knives, boy. You remember what I taught you about field dressing a rabbit, don’t you?”

James nodded quickly, giving the rabbits one last glance. “Yes, sir.” He took two heavy, sharp knives from the block by the hob and passed one to Oberhauser.

As James picked up the second rabbit, Oberhauser asked, “Did he say anything?”

James shrugged noncommittally. “Not really.” For some reason, he didn’t feel like sharing the details of his exchange with Alec. It felt private somehow. Just like Alec’s intrusion of his bedroom earlier, another thing he hadn’t told Oberhauser about. “He did say something about ‘trade’ again, though,” he supplied instead. “Is he asking if he can trade with me? Or trade  _ for _ me?”

Oberhauser started to skin the rabbit with short, neat motions. “Alec’s not very fluent,” he said carefully. “Don’t let that fool you. His logic and reasoning skills are unmatched. He’s just... lacked the opportunity to practice language. It’s sometimes difficult to tell exactly what he’s trying to say.”

“Are most ferals like that?” James asked as he started in on his own rabbit. “I mean, do many of them get the chance to learn a human language?”

“I try to teach them, when I can. And not all of them were born here. A few are from outside, come to live here with their own kind. Those are the ones who spend more time in human or their hybrid form.” Oberhauser grinned and held up a bloody hand, flexing his fingers. “No thumbs in wolf-form. That’s how you can tell the ferals, you know. In human form or halfway to the wolf, they rarely use their hands.”

“He did bring these in his mouth, but then he dropped them before he changed to human form,” James conceded, “so I guess that doesn’t really count.” It occurred to him then that it wasn’t just the rabbits. After James had run his hand over his own face, Alec had reached to touch James as well, but had done so cheek-to-cheek instead of using his own hands. At the time, James had thought it was rather intimate. But if James went by what Oberhauser was telling him, it was simply how Alec interacted with the things around him. James scowled at his rabbit, refusing to entertain the notion that he was actually mildly disappointed.

He opened his mouth to ask Oberhauser about it, but inexplicably stopped himself. The encounter was apparently entirely normal, at least for Alec, but James still couldn’t bring himself to share his experience with Oberhauser. Even if it was how Alec usually interacted with others, James still wanted to believe that it was special.

“Some ferals live entirely as wolves,” Oberhauser said, focused on his rabbit. “Others will build themselves a shelter more complicated than a den or hollowed log, or they’ll use tools — even fire, in some cases, though rarely to cook.” Then he laughed over the sound of bones cracking between his strong hands. “It’s nearly impossible to get any of them to put on clothes, even in human form. The cold barely affects them. And they’ve got no sense of modesty. You didn’t seem to take offence today, but I probably should have warned you about that.”

“Well, I’d figured that was the case,” James said as he carefully pulled the skin from the rabbit. “If they managed to transfigure their clothes, I assume that’s probably something you would have told me.”

Oberhauser laughed. “Oh, not at all. You should have seen it. The one time I did manage to get Alec fully clothed, he shifted without undressing. Tore everything to shreds — all but his socks.”

James laughed as well. He could just picture clothes flying everywhere as blonde hair turned to white fur. “So, were you able to save the socks? Or were they eventually a lost cause, too?”

“No idea. He picked them up and took off with them. Didn’t so much as pierce the knit with his fangs, either. You’d be amazed how gentle they can be in any form.” Oberhauser shook his head thoughtfully. “I think he’s got a stash somewhere. He had travel papers — one of those old-style passports, from the United Kingdom. I try to hold those sorts of things for them, but he took back everything of his a couple of years ago. No idea what happened to them.”

“Why?” James asked, puzzled.

Obserhauser didn’t answer right away. With sharp, quick chops of the knife, he cut the rabbit apart. “Alec’s parents died,” he said, giving James a steady look. “I found the bodies. Werewolves can survive a great deal, but... they’d torn each other apart.”

James sucked in a breath, his knife clattering in the sink. “They  _ killed each other _ ?” He’d never heard of such a thing, didn't even know it was possible. Werewolves were supposed to be damn near indestructible.

Oberhauser nodded gravely. “I never did learn why. The wolves talk to me, but I’m not a part of their society. Then, a year or so ago, Alec...” He took a deep, thoughtful breath. “I don’t know if he left or was driven away. I suspect he’s been alone since then. He was the youngest — ferals only rarely give birth, so usually the young are kept safe, watched closely, even after they grow up.”

_ Alec has no one _ . The thought struck a chord with James, who had lost his own parents several years before. If not for Oberhauser, he wouldn’t have anyone either. He and Alec were  _ both _ orphans.

James picked up the knife to finish cutting up his rabbit, but all he really wanted to do was head back out and find Alec again. He didn’t know how he would explain it, but he wanted Alec to know he understood. That James was there for him, whatever that meant.

And it wasn’t that Alec was just an orphan; he was apparently shunned as well. James’ grip tightened around the knife as a spark of irrational fury coursed through him. Alec was young. What could he have  _ possibly _ done to deserve such treatment?

He slowly went back to work on his rabbit, taking a deep breath to try and abate some of his anger. “Does Alec have  _ anybody _ ?” he asked, although he already suspected the answer.

“Me.” Oberhauser shrugged and piled the viscera from both rabbits into a bowl. “I’ve been hoping to teach him human ways. I taught him to read a little, but he wasn’t around much last winter — not when I was here, at least.”

_ I could teach him _ , James thought viciously, only to laugh at himself. There was no reason for the sudden possessiveness he felt for Alec, especially since Oberhauser had just made it clear that James wasn’t the only one looking out for his new friend. But that still didn’t change the fact that it was there, new and real and uncomfortably raw.

“Thank you,” he said, instead. Alec needed friends and now he had two. James turned to smile at Oberhauser, even if the man had his back turned. “I’m glad someone is looking out for us orphans.”

With a gruff laugh, Oberhauser said, “Perhaps you’ll remember that next time you get stroppy with me, boy,” though there was no anger behind the words. Then he grinned and gave James a sidelong look. “If you can get him to sit still long enough — which would be a feat in its own right — we’d started with the Bible. You’ll find it on the mantel.” He nodded towards the sitting room.

“The Bible?” James glanced in the direction of the sitting room before looking speculatively at Oberhauser. “Are you sure that’s not a bit... heavy handed for a first book?” He knew the question was a bit sensitive; he just hoped Oberhauser didn’t take offence.

Oberhauser frowned. “It’s how I learned to read.” He nodded towards the window, though it was too dark to see anything but the reflection of the kitchen lamps. “The church may call them damned, but werewolves are just as much God’s creatures as humans.”

James grimaced at the implication. He’d never much believed in any particular religion himself, so he couldn’t understand how such a large organisation — one that was supposed to be about peace and acceptance — would try to damn people like Alec just for being different.

It was revolting.

“I’ll try,” James promised as he slowly started pulling apart his rabbit. “But if he still doesn’t take to it, may I try a different book?”

“All right... but nothing improper. Nothing  _ French _ , like that Lady Chatterly book you think I don’t know you’ve got,” he said sternly.

“I’ll start with the Bible and go from there,” James said, resolutely ignoring Oberhauser’s remark. If he tried to argue, there was every possibility that Oberhauser would find out about the picture books as well. If the man didn’t know already. 


	3. Chapter 3

James sat down on the small porch swing and gave a little kick to get it moving. The swing didn’t have that much range of motion, but it was enough to help him relax. He pulled out one of his cigarettes and lit it with a deep, comforting inhale.

It had been three days since Alec had come by and left the rabbits for him and Oberhauser. And since then, he hadn’t seen Alec anywhere, as a wolf or as a human. So James had taken to practically camping out on the back porch in hopes of seeing his new friend, until exhaustion and the cold eventually drove him inside.

As promised, Oberhauser had taken him out every day to find more werewolves for him to meet. So far, they’d come across five, but none of them held the intrigue that Alec had. Well, the one female had in that she turned out to be just as immodest as the males were. And James, damn him, had blushed furiously when she’d shifted into her human form so suddenly in front of him. He still told himself it was because she’d startled him. It wasn’t exactly like he was an innocent.

As each night approached, James would eat a quick dinner with Oberhauser before excusing himself for a smoke outside that would eventually become hours of waiting for Alec to return. And, as each day passed, he began to wonder more and more if he’d misinterpreted his friendship with Alec. Maybe Alec didn’t actually  _ want _ to be his friend. If the werewolf was so limited in his speech, maybe all he’d meant was that James wasn’t an enemy. The thought bothered James more than it probably should.

But then, on the third night, James finally saw what he’d been waiting for: a hint of white fur in the trees behind the house. The moon was by now more than just a slim crescent overhead, and the light glowed over Alec’s fur as he finally emerged from the shadows. He trotted easily, in no rush, mouth open to show his fangs. It didn’t feel threatening —

Until he stopped, ears going flat to his head. The fur along his spine bristled up, as he let out a low, dangerous growl.

James flinched and pushed back into the bench. “Alec?” he asked tentatively. Maybe he was right. Maybe Alec hadn’t meant that they were friends. It would explain why Alec hadn’t been around in days. But now, it made James wonder what had happened in the last few days to invoke  _ this _ sort of reaction.

Slowly, Alec started forward again, his steps deliberate, ominously silent. His gold eyes never left James. Hoping not to startle Alec, James stayed right where he was. Oberhauser had taught him that if he were to run, a predator would immediately see him as prey and give chase.

At the foot of the porch, Alec crouched down, body tensing. Then he leaped so quickly that James only had time to flinch back before the wolf landed right in front of him. Seated, James was shorter than the wolf, giving him an all-too-clear view of Alec’s fangs.

James’ breath stuttered as he stared. Alec’s fangs were long and  _ sharp _ , making James wonder irrationally why Alec went after rabbits. Teeth like that could probably take down a deer, easily.

He forced himself to look up and meet Alec’s eyes, completely golden and  _ not human _ . “Is something wrong, Alec?” he whispered, his traitorous voice shaky.

Alec’s breathing was slow and deep, mouth open as if he were tasting the air. He advanced on James, who inched the porch swing back as far as he could.

Alec put one paw up on the bench, right beside James’ hip, followed by the other paw, trapping James in place. With another quiet growl, Alec lowered his head and bit, sharp fangs tearing into James’ coat — but  _ not _ his skin. James barely felt the pressure of teeth, the heat of breath, before Alec jerked his head back.

Fabric ripped. The once-fine coat shredded under Alec’s strength.

“Hey!” James yelled. He pushed back even further, accidentally kneeing Alec in the chest. Snarling, Alec peeled the strip of fabric away and shook it before throwing it over the side of the porch. “What are you doing? That’s my best coat!”

James heart raced as the reality of the situation hit him. He stared back into golden eyes as his options ran through his mind. He could freeze and let Alec tear his clothes — and possibly him — to shreds. Or he could fight back, which had an even higher likelihood of him getting himself killed.

Paralysing fear kept him from making a decision. He stared, watching as Alec turned back, mouth open wide, nostrils flaring as he inhaled sharply. But instead of lunging for James’ ruined coat — or, worse, his body — the wolf leaned close, so close that James could see every whisker on his muzzle and feel the warmth of his breath.

Ducking his head, Alec rubbed against James like a cat demanding attention. His fur was thick, with a wiry topcoat over a soft, downy undercoat. His head butted hard against James’ shoulder and chest, right where his coat had been torn. Twisting, he leaned against James with his whole body, nearly climbing into his lap. The bench swung wildly, chains creaking.

“What — I don’t understand, Alec.” He grimaced at his torn coat before tentatively lifting his hand to rest across the back of Alec’s neck. He wanted to ask what was wrong, but he had a feeling Alec wouldn’t shift back to tell him — if he was able to tell James at all.

Instead, James lightly scratched behind Alec’s ears, dragging his fingers through thick white fur. It tickled his fingers and made him think about the small tuft he was currently carrying in his pocket. Then he shifted so he could awkwardly lean over and rest his head on top of Alec’s, whispering, “I’m not sure why you found my coat so offensive. If I thought you could manage, I’d make  _ you _ patch it up.”

This time, Alec’s growl didn’t sound quite so threatening. He found his balance, body leaning against the bench between James’ legs, front paws resting beside James’ hips. Alec’s head was huge; his ear tickled James’ cheek; his whiskers brushed over James’ nape. Then he lifted his head enough to nip at James’ shoulder, just hard enough to tug at his ruined coat.

“You can’t have the coat, Alec,” Bond scolded, his voice slightly muffled by Alec’s fur. “You already took my shirt, and I  _ need _ —”

Alec gave a short, sharp bark — and then James found himself holding an armful of bare skin. Startled, his arms clenched around Alec, and he tried to keep from flinching.

“My,” Alec said, the growl still audible deep in his human voice.

It took James a moment to process what Alec had said. And even longer to figure out  _ why _ he’d said it. “My shirt,” he repeated, looking into gold eyes that were slowly bleeding away into green. He tried not to think about the fact that he was still holding Alec, even though Alec was now human and very much naked. “Yes, you took my shirt. So you can’t take my coat.”

Alec’s huff was very human, full of contempt. He rubbed his face against James’, sniffing hard. “James  _ my _ ,” he insisted.

“James my,” James repeated, puzzled. He had to bite down on a laugh because, really, he was starting to sound like a broken record the way he repeated everything Alec said. But James had never dealt with infants or small children of any kind — not that Alec was either. James just had no idea how to talk to someone with such a limited vocabulary.

Absently, he started running his fingers through Alec’s hair. “James my...” he whispered again to himself. Was Alec trying to tell James that the shirt was his?  _ James, my shirt _ ? Or did he actually mean mine instead of my? James  _ mine _ ? Or — Oh!

He smiled down at Alec in understanding. “Do you mean  _ my James _ ?”

_ “My,” _ Alec corrected, drawing back to look at James. He growled again, disconcertingly wolfish, and bit at the torn edge of James’ coat. He gave a tug with his human teeth. “My James. My  _ territory _ ,” he said, and snarled, though without any ferocity.

James sighed in frustration and disappointment. He was about to ask if Alec was upset that he was in the werewolf’s territory when he finally pieced together what Alec had said. If this was in fact Alec’s territory, than he really had just said that James was his.  _ My territory. My James. _

Still not sure why the coat had offended Alec, though, James decided the best way to start was by taking it off. He leaned forward, careful not to dislodge Alec, and reached over Alec’s head to grab at the sleeve. That was when he saw it: a few hairs of deep chocolate brown fur.

The female werewolf.

Understanding finally dawned on him. When James and Oberhauser had searched out the other wolves, it had been nowhere near where Alec seemed to live. The area nearest to the cabin was Alec’s territory, and Alec was alone, with no pack of his own.

And right now, James was wearing the scents of five  _ other _ werewolves.

Without hesitation. James pulled his arm through his sleeve before reaching around to free his other arm. He then reached behind his back to pull his coat free, jostling Alec in the process, and tossed it aside.

Leaning back, he reached up again to wrap his hand lightly around Alec’s nape and asked, “Is this better?”

There was something satisfying about Alec’s answering growl. He lowered his head, pressing back against James’ hand, and turned his head slightly. Then he bit the side of James’ neck hard, hard enough to bruise without allowing his still-human teeth to break skin.

James inhaled sharply at the pain that radiated down his spine. When it coiled low in his belly, turning into a pleasurable heat, James stuttered out a breath, his mind going blank. Alec was his  _ friend _ . This wasn’t — James didn’t...

Fear suddenly coursed through him — a fear that had nothing to do with Alec’s fangs on his neck. He reached up to take Alec by the shoulders and pushed the werewolf back, away from him, forcing him to release the bite. “Alec, I — I  _ can’t _ ,” he pleaded, shaking his head hard.

Alec backed off without protest and stepped away from the bench. He tilted his head, watching James intently. Curiously.

“Please don’t be mad,” James said quietly. “I like you. I really do. You’re my friend. But I...” He trailed off and looked around. He didn’t know how to tell Alec what a colossally bad idea it was for him to  _ like _ another male — and a werewolf male at that. “People won’t like it,” he finished stupidly.

James had no idea how much of that Alec understood. Alec just watched him for a few more seconds before he lunged at James, body blurring into a haze of pale fur. He stopped short of actually slamming into James and instead gave a short, high-pitched bark as he crouched. His tail and ears were raised, hackles flat, just like a dog wanting to play.

The laugh that escaped James’ lips was one of relief. Either Alec  _ didn’t _ understand, or he wasn’t angry. All that mattered, though, was that he wasn’t running away.

James reached out and ruffled the fur on Alec’s head. “Is it wrong if I want to call you a ‘good boy’?” he teased. He scratched behind both of Alec’s ears before pulling the wolf forward to rest his forehead against Alec’s head. “Thank you for not running off again,” he whispered, letting his affection for Alec bleed into his words.

Alec nosed at James’ chest, then took one of James’ shirt buttons in his fangs. He gave a quick tug, released the button, and pulled back. Again, he barked and lowered his forelegs, tail wagging, before he turned and jumped the railing.

Instead of running off, though, he spun back around to face James and barked again, insistently.

James couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of Alec behaving exactly like the family dog. He pushed off the bench to go stand by the railing. “You want me to come play?” he asked wryly.

Alec crouched lower, until his forelegs were flat against the sparse grass behind the cabin. He barked again.

“Oh, is that how this is going to be?” James challenged, his smile turning mischievous. He placed his hands on the railing and pushed off, jumping cleanly over to land on the ground in front of Alec. He crouched down to get closer to eye-level. “Think you can take me, mutt?”

Alec’s only answer was to lunge at James, slowly enough that James was able to dive sideways, out of his way. For one brief moment, James thought he should take care. Even playful, Alec was large and strong, with fangs that could tear flesh as easily as he’d shredded fabric.

But James was strong and had studied wrestling and judo, along with the more customary sports of fencing and boxing. The next time Alec lunged, he wrapped his arms around the wolf’s body and used his weight to drag them both down.

Alec didn’t bite. He barked and wriggled free, darting in to nip carefully at James’ trousers before he bolted off. Laughing, James gave chase and took Alec down again with a tackle that would’ve done any rugby player proud.

They played long enough to leave James breathless and overheated despite the night’s chill. He ended their game by pulling Alec down and sprawling atop him. Alec’s tail thumped heavily against the grass, and his ribs rose and fell as he panted for breath, jaws open.

Then, before James could call for a break, Alec lifted his head enough to lick up the side of James’ face, from jaw to hairline.

“Alec, that’s disgusting!” James shot out, but any real scolding was lost under his laugh. “I’d do the same to you just to prove it, but I’m not about to lick  _ fur _ .”

Alec’s huff of breath sounded suspiciously like laughter. He let his head fall to the ground, watching James with his bright gold eyes, still grinning wolfishly. His tail never stopped wagging, and he made no effort to wriggle out from under James’ weight.

For one brief instant, James desperately wanted Alec to turn human again. The problem was, he had no idea what he’d do if Alec did. Or maybe he was just afraid of what he’d do.

_ Friend  _ , he told himself. He stared down at Alec, so perfectly still and trusting underneath him. Feeling a rush of boldness, he leaned down quickly and kissed Alec just behind his ear. As he breathed in his wolf’s scent, he tried to tell himself that this was a perfectly normal gesture between a human and his pet.

_ The only problem is _ , a small voice in his head reminded him,  _ Alec isn’t your pet _ .

James sat back up and smiled at Alec before releasing him. Still breathing hard, he turned to slide off of Alec and sat down on the hard earth. Alec rolled to his feet and nudged hard at James’ back, giving him a shove, and kept nosing at him until he got up. Another shove made James realise Alec was pushing him towards the cabin.

“All right, I get it,” James said with another huff of laughter. He usually preferred being the one in charge, but he couldn’t help the surge of affection he felt for Alec’s protectiveness. Especially now that James’ coat was ruined.

He walked up the steps to the back door and grabbed the handle to open the door. He stopped, though, and turned back to gaze hopefully at Alec. “Are you coming in, too?”

That was all the invitation Alec needed. He covered the distance from the garden to the door in three bounds, his straight-line path taking him over the railing again, instead of up the steps. He slipped into the cabin, claws clicking on the wood floor, and went right to the neat little sitting room up front.

James secured the door against the chill wind before following. Alec had changed into his human form and was now crouched in front of the hearth, where he’d leaned in close to examine the banked coals.

“It needs to be rebuilt,” James pointed out somewhat inanely. He glanced up towards the first storey, hoping Oberhauser hadn’t heard Alec barrelling into the house. He knew that Oberhauser worked closely with the wolves, but that didn’t mean they were allowed inside. In fact, the way Oberhauser was constantly talking about their feral behaviour, they most likely weren’t.

Warily, James walked over and crouched down next to Alec. “Do you know fire? Oberhauser said some of you know how to make fire.” He reached across Alec to rest his hand on one of the fresh logs. “I can rebuild it, if you want,” he offered. He was instantly aware of how close he was into Alec’s space. He knew he should back off, but he just... couldn’t.

“Rebuild,” Alec said, head tipped slightly to one side. Then he leaned towards James to nudge at him, cheek rubbing against James’ shoulder. “James clothes,” he said, before he took the log from under James’ hand and tossed it into the fireplace.

Confused, James glanced down at his shirt. He figured the wolves were used to being naked everywhere they went, but humans simply didn’t do that. “Um, Alec, I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to take my clothes off,” he murmured. He looked back up to meet Alec’s eyes. “We’d get in trouble.”

Only as the words came out, did it occur to him that he was more worried about getting caught than he was about being naked in front of Alec.

Alec huffed and continued piling logs onto the coals. “James...” He gave a short, frustrated growl. “Words. Clothes  _ and _ clothes. Cold.”

James eyes went wide in surprise. “Oh! Are you saying you want me to put on  _ more _ clothes?” He felt a blush creep up into his face. Alec had done nothing but show James friendship in his strange wolf-like way. Yet, James couldn’t stop thinking of Alec’s behaviour as something more. It would be disappointing if it wasn’t so frustrating.

“More James clothes,” Alec said, rubbing his cheek against James’ shoulder again. “James —” He narrowed his eyes and stared thoughtfully at the fire for a moment. “James  _ is _ cold,” he said tentatively, giving James a sidelong glance.

“That’s because  _ somebody _ ruined my coat,” James scolded good-naturedly. He sat back, resting his elbows on the rug in front of the fireplace. “I’ll be fine once the fire warms up.”

“James...  _ My _ ...” Alec growled and pushed away from the fireplace to lie beside James, curled up on his side. “My  _ clothes _ ,” he said uncertainly, and lifted his hand. The motion drew James’ eye, and he flinched when he saw Alec’s hand was no longer human. His nails had gone sharp and thick, with a long, deadly curve. A faint dusting of white fur covered his hand all the way up to his wrist, where it faded out into perfectly normal human hair, golden blonde. A huff of breath stirred the white fur. “My...” he said expectantly, looking up at James.

James couldn’t help but stare wondrously Alec’s partial shift. His first thought was that it was amazing, the level of control Alec seemed to possess. But he shook the thought away almost immediately. Alec had been born like this. The things that were fascinating to James had to be no more than second nature for a werewolf.

He reached up to gently stroke the fur on the back of Alec’s hand. “Are you asking what this is?”

Alec’s eyes, green flecked with gold, followed the movement of James’ fingers. “My  _ clothes _ word.”

James smiled affectionately and said, “Fur. Your  _ clothes _ are called fur.”

“Fur.” Under James’ touch, Alec’s fur melted away to bare skin, claws receding into normal human nails. “My fur warm. James clothes cold.” He gave a disdainful huff. “Custodian... Alec  _ clothes _ . Clothes  _ and _ fur,” he added, exasperated.

“Yeah, he told me about that,” James said with a laugh. “Said you destroyed them when you changed back to werewolf, too.” Even though Alec’s fur was gone, James kept running his fingers along the back of Alec’s hand. “He also said you managed not to shred the socks” — he lifted his own hand just long enough to point at Alec’s feet — “and then ran off carrying them. Did you keep those?”

Alec lifted his head to look at his feet. “Clothes,” he said tentatively. Then he huffed in frustration, and to James’ surprise, said in Russian, “These words are more good.” He gave James a questioning look.

Delighted, James switched to Russian and asked, “You speak Russian?” Born in Germany to a Scottish father and Swiss mother, James had grown up speaking a polyglot of a half dozen languages.

And so far that sentence from Alec had been the most coherent thing he’d said since they’d met. “Is this easier for you?”

With a relieved sigh, Alec moved closer, so he was pressed against James’ body. “These words, yes. James —  _ You _ ,” he said, using the informal form, “have England and here-words,  _ and _ these words. James have intelligent.”

James laughed. “Well, I wouldn’t say I’m  _ intelligent _ . My parents just wanted me to speak more than one language.” He closed his eyes for a second, remembering his mother sitting with him at the formal dining table while going over his vocabulary. Without realising it, he’d taken hold of Alec’s hand and inched closer, pressing back into the werewolf.

An excited light came into Alec’s eyes. “James have  _ numbers _ ? Algebra?”

James looked over at Alec in complete shock. “Wait, you don’t know the word for socks, but you know the word  _ algebra _ ?” He started to snicker, which turned into peals of laughter. He fell back onto the rug and grinned up at Alec, never letting go. “We really need to work on your speech, mate.” He tucked his free arm behind his head. “There are all  _ kinds _ of things I could teach you.”

Alec’s grin was inhuman, even a little threatening, but the humour was unmistakable. “Numbers are  _ numbers _ . Words are...” He wrinkled his nose distastefully, then nodded at James, looking down his body. In German, he said, “Clothes and clothes and  _ clothes _ words.” He huffed in frustration.

“I guess all the different words can be complicated,” James conceded, still in Russian. He gave Alec’s hand a gentle tug to grab his attention. “I could teach you, you know,” he said earnestly. “If you’ll let me.”

Alec lifted his head, looking up at the fireplace. No, at the mantel, where the Bible was propped up against the wall. “No,” he said, giving the book a fixed glare. Then he turned back to James and said, “More good words.  _ James _ words.”

James glanced back at the book and sighed. He’d promised Oberhauser he’d at least try with the Bible first. But what the old man didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. After all, Alec had already made it clear to Oberhauser he wasn’t a fan of the Bible. It wouldn’t be too hard to convince Oberhauser that Alec had refused the book.

He turned back to smile conspiratorially at Alec. “Don’t worry. We’ll find something different.” He gave Alec’s hand a squeeze. “In the meantime we can just talk. Like this.”

This time, Alec’s smile was more human, as if he were attempting to model his expression off James’. He turned his hand over, wrapping his fingers around James’, and looked down at their joined hands. Thoughtfully, he went back to speaking Russian, saying, “James is here. James and Custodian family?”

“Sort of,” James breathed out, staring at his hand in Alec’s as well. He knew he should pull away, and he would... any minute now. “My parents died several years ago. He’s been looking out for me ever since.”

Alec growled softly, smile disappearing. “My parents dead —  _ died _ ,” he corrected. He leaned closer, one leg slipping over James’ for balance, and rubbed his face against James’ cheek. “James —  _ you _ — is mine.”

James didn’t answer; he just nodded his head. He was too scared of what those words meant. He’d only just met Alec three days prior — and hadn’t seen him again until today. But James couldn’t deny a sense of possessiveness he felt for his new friend. They were completely different species, but that didn’t change the fact that they were exactly the same. Both young and lost; both orphans. Both  _ lonely _ .

They needed each other, even if James wasn’t ready to explore exactly what that meant yet. It was too soon, and he really was too scared. He’d learned at a young age how easily the things you care about can slip through your fingers. If Alec got too close, what would happen when he slipped through James’ fingers as well?


	4. Chapter 4

_ “Alec Trevelyan!” _

The bellow nearly startled Alec right out of his fur. He woke, caught James’ scent, and snarled defensively before he was entirely aware of his surroundings. All he knew — all that mattered — was that James was here and his and possibly threatened. Twisting, he tried to stand, only to fall off wherever he’d been sleeping, curled up warmly against James’ side.

The Custodian came stomping into the room. “I’ve told you about getting fur on my couch!”

James shot up and looked around, his eyes half open. “What? What did I miss?”

Exasperated, Alec sighed and turned back, giving James’ chest a hard nudge to settle him back down. The Custodian had all sorts of  _ rules _ — silly human things — about where Alec could go in his fur, which was almost nowhere, or in his skin, which was even worse unless he had clothes. At the very least, he was supposed to have  _ trousers _ . James had reminded him of that word last night.

So what was he supposed to do? He was already  _ in _ the house, in his fur.

Only one solution came to mind. He climbed back up onto the couch, trying to keep as much of himself on James’ lap as he possibly could — no small feat, considering he was twice James’ size.

James laughed quietly in Alec’s ear and scratched his head. “You’re going to get me in trouble, you know,” he whispered in Russian, but his smile took any real sense of scolding out of his words. “If he yells at you again, I’ll cover you so you can make a run for it.”

“I don’t suppose he brought any clothes?” the Custodian asked. Instead of waiting for an answer, he turned and stomped back up the stairs.

Alec sighed and rested his chin on James’ shoulder, nose buried against the couch cushions. Now the Custodian would find clothes, and he’d expect Alec to  _ wear _ them. And then Alec would forget them and shift, and there would be that much more yelling.

He rubbed his head against James’ hair, closing his eyes once more. He wanted to go back to sleep. James was warm and comfortable and familiar, and it had been far too long since Alec had felt another body’s warmth like that.

Then James wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck, hugging him tight. Alec wanted to turn and bite James’ neck in return, but there wasn’t enough room, and he was too comfortable. Too content.

James turned his head to bury his nose in Alec’s fur again, just as he’d done outside the night before. “You are  _ definitely _ going to get me in trouble.” He breathed hard against Alec’s neck and settled back down into the couch.

They were both thinking the same thing, then. The Custodian was getting clothes, and then he  would yell at them _both_ for Alec’s fur. So Alec twisted around on James’ lap and shifted out of his fur, catching at James with both hands to keep from falling.

James arms tensed around Alec before he relaxed and started laughing again. “Oh, this is much better. He  _ definitely _ won’t think it’s weird that two men are lying together on the couch, especially with one of them naked.” He scratched his hand through Alec’s hair and smiled, his eyes bright. “Good choice, Alec.”

Satisfied, Alec got comfortable on top of James. His clothes were scratchy, worse than shedding fur, but his body was warm, and it felt  _ right _ to be this close to him.

“I am intelligent,” Alec answered, choosing his words with precision. Speaking with James last night had helped Alec to remember his mother’s words. He pressed his face against James’ neck, breathed deeply, and then nipped affectionately.

James hissed in a breath that quickly dissolved into more laughter. “Not so hard, Alec,” he said, giving Alec’s hair a gentle tug.

Alec huffed and released the bite. With real fur, James would be less prone to injury —

_ That _ was a new idea.

Alec lifted his head to stare down into James’ blue eyes, feeling an uncharacteristic sense of alarm start to build inside him, like the first snow of winter. James was human. Breakable. Easily killed.

But he didn’t have to  _ stay _ human.

Quietly, James ran his nails over Alec’s nape. When he smiled at Alec, it was nervous this time, without the same warmth he’d shown the night before. He turned to look back in the direction the Custodian had gone and the smile instantly faded from his face. Alec could feel James’ heart start to thump in his chest, and James shot a quick glance at him before turning to face the stairs again.

“Alec, I think we should...” James started. His arms dropped from around Alec and he started to push up.

Alec stared, wondering what James was trying to say. Before he could ask, though, James shoved him away so unexpectedly that he had to grab at the back of the couch to keep from falling. A growl slipped out automatically — a growl of confusion, not anger. James twisted, driving his knees hard against Alec’s legs, and scrambled away, to the far end of the couch.

Alec let go, slipping back into his fur to land on all four paws. James’ heart was racing, his breath coming in gasps. He smelled strange — almost  _ afraid _ — and Alec growled again, searching for whatever threat James had sensed.

But all he saw was the Custodian’s return, now carrying clothes, as expected. Alec looked at James, hoping he would explain that Alec didn’t  _ need _ clothes — that his fur was always there, even in his skin — but James was staring resolutely away from both of them.

Something was wrong. Some  _ human _ thing that Alec didn’t understand.

Sensing that this was the wrong time to intrude, he loped out of the room, ignoring Oberhauser’s surprised call. He shifted to human form and back in a fast blur, just long enough to give himself a hand with which to unlatch the door.

Then he was gone, running into the forest, mouth open to taste the air. He wanted food and a good run, and then he could go sleep in his den, with James’ shirt. That would let the humans do whatever human things they needed to do.

~~~

James helplessly watched Alec leave. He wanted to say something, to stop Alec, but his throat seemed to have closed up on him. He opened his mouth, but absolutely no sound came out.

What the hell had he just done?

Truthfully, he wasn’t even sure what bothered him more: allowing Alec to lie naked on top of him or letting Alec leave without at least  _ some _ explanation. He knew Alec didn’t understand; he’d heard it in Alec’s soft growl before the werewolf had turned to leave.

Wariness started to claw its way through him. What if he’d really done it this time? What if he’d offended Alec so badly, Alec really would never come back? He’d just found Alec; he couldn’t lose him already.

Distantly he heard Oberhauser talking to him, but he couldn’t make out the words over his heart pounding in his ears. The two sounds blended together like white noise.

He shook his head a bit to clear it, then forced himself to look away from the door and over at Oberhauser. “I’m sorry, sir?”

“Are you all right, boy?” Oberhauser set down a pile of folded clothes as he sat down on the couch beside James. “Did he hurt you? Not intentionally — they just forget their strength sometimes.”

“No, he didn’t hurt me,” James said with a smile that was entirely forced. “I think I may have hurt him, though. His weight was a bit much, and I think I accidentally kneed him when I tried to get him to move.” It was only a half-lie, one he hoped Oberhauser wouldn’t see through.

Oberhauser laughed roughly. “It would take far more strength than you and I have combined to hurt him in any form.” He clapped a hand on James’ shoulder and rose to his feet. “I’ll make us some breakfast. If he comes back, he’s to put on some clothes,” he added sternly, nodding towards the pile. “That’s one of the rules. In their territory, they can live as they please, but this is a human house.”

James nodded. “Yes, sir.”

As Oberhauser headed for the kitchen, James let out a sigh of relief. If Oberhauser had suspected  _ anything _ , James had no clue how he would’ve explained it other than to blame it on Alec’s nature, and that just wasn’t fair. James as the one who’d allowed it, even welcomed it for a moment. And if he were being honest with himself, if Oberhauser hadn’t come down, James doesn’t know that he would have pushed Alec away at all.

Because their friendship was new, and because Alec was feral, Oberhauser probably would have understood this time. But the truth of the matter was that two men just weren’t supposed to lie together. It simply wasn’t done.

With grumbled huff, James pushed off the couch and headed into the kitchen. He found Oberhauser heating a pan to fry up sausages, so James walked over and sat down at the little kitchen table, out of the man’s way.

“So what happened last night? You didn’t come up to bed and go back down early. I would’ve heard the stairs creak this morning.”

James shrugged, stalling so he could come up with a reasonable answer. He and Alec had talked most of the night — mostly in Russian, but James had worked with him on a few English words. Then Alec had shifted back into his wolf form so they could go to sleep together on the couch.

When he thought about it like that, though, it didn’t sound so bad, except that their going to sleep together had been deliberate. Maybe some version of that would suffice.

Trying to keep as close to the truth as he could, James answered, “I started teaching Alec how to speak as a human. We were up really late, so I guess we must have just fallen asleep.” Then, trying to divert the subject, he added, “Did you know he speaks a lot of Russian?”

Oberhauser nodded casually. “And a touch of English, too, though he’s fluent in none of them. His father was English, as I told you. His mother... You’ve heard of the Cossacks?”

James nodded. “A few of my teachers mentioned them. Don’t their lands spread all throughout Eastern Europe?”

“His mother was a Cossack. I’ve no idea how many of them are werewolves, or if she was changed or born. That’s how he learned Russian.” Hissing steam and spitting oil rose up as Oberhauser slid the sausages into the frying pan. “If you’re comfortable speaking either with him, do so. Any language is better than none.”

_ If he wants to talk to me at all anymore _ , James thought sullenly. He breathed in the smell of smoked meat and spices as the sausage began to sizzle and immediately wished he hadn’t shoved Alec away this morning. Oberhauser probably would have understood, and right now they would all be sitting in the kitchen about to enjoy a delicious breakfast together.

Then he and Alec would have headed outside to explore the region. James had been hoping Alec would take him to where he lived. He knew the reason Alec had taken his shirt was because of the scent, so James had secretly been planning to switch it out for the one he currently had on. After several days, he figured his scent was no longer on the blue one.

But none of that would happen today, possibly not ever. James’ own fears had seen to that.

Hoping Oberhauser would have some answers — not about James and Alec, but hopefully about werewolves in general — he asked, “How much of a feral werewolf is human? I noticed that even in human form, Alec sometimes behaved like a... like a dog.” He smiled sheepishly at Oberhauser. It was the best way he could think to describe Alec’s behaviour.

“You’ve heard of the debate of nature versus nurture in the rearing of young of any species?” Oberhauser asked. When James nodded, Oberhauser continued, “It’s just the same with werewolves. Leave a human infant with a feral pack, and the human would take on their traits, their behaviours, their methods of communication. I believe...” He turned to face James, leaning against the counter, ignoring the sausages for the moment. “I believe that even the most feral werewolf can,  _ if he should so choose _ , adopt the ways of human civilisation so thoroughly that no one would know he had ever lived any other way. It’s simply a matter of adeptly teaching a willing subject.”

James smiled to himself. That might be an interesting idea. If he could get Alec to behave more like a human, maybe he could get Alec to leave with them when their time at the cabin was up. Plus, if he could teach Alec how to be properly affectionate towards a friend, no one would suspect...

Suspect what? James’ mind stalled, unable to finish the sentence. What was he worried that people might suspect? That he and Alec were... What? Being improper with each other? It wasn’t as though he and Alec  _ were _ anything more than friends. Alec probably didn’t even think of him that way. He was probably just expressing himself through his basic nature, whatever that meant.

Trying to appear as neutral as possible, James stood up and walked over to the counter to stand opposite the stove top. “You know,” he began, keeping his voice casual, “Alec seemed to enjoy learning new words last night. Do you think he’d be a willing subject?”

Oberhauser smiled encouragingly. “I think so, yes. Werewolves breed very rarely, from what I’ve learned. He’s the youngest of all the wolves here — and he’s all the more alone for that. He probably ran off this morning from the threat of clothing. It’s like fighting the Devil himself to get any feral to wear more than a blanket draped like a cloak, and that only if it’s soft or smells interesting. He’ll be back, once he thinks I’ve forgotten about the fur on my couch.” More gently, he added, “And  _ you’re _ not in trouble for that, boy. If I know Alec, he didn’t breathe a word about the house rules.”

James watched Oberhauser thoughtfully. His words were something of a relief, but only somewhat. He hadn’t been there when Alec had laid on top of James, fully human and completely naked. It wasn’t  _ right _ , but that didn’t help the sense of...  _ loss _ James felt watching Alec leave.

If Oberhauser was right, though, and Alec really was only upset about the clothes, maybe this all could be salvaged. Because if Alec wasn’t mad at him, maybe James  _ could _ teach him how to behave in the human world. Then James would never have to worry about losing his friend again.


	5. Chapter 5

James stopped at the edge of the stream and looked up at the water that crested over the edge of the small cliff. The waterfall in Alec’s territory was the only marker James really had for finding his werewolf. With Oberhauser’s permission, James had left immediately after breakfast to come and find Alec. Regardless of whatever was going on between them, whether it was friendship or something else, he needed to explain to Alec what had happened. Somehow.

He didn’t have much of a wait. He’d sat there long enough to smoke a single cigarette before Alec trotted into sight. He was in his fur, but his ears were perked forward, tail raised high, and there was something light and carefree about his gait. James was no expert at wolf body language, but he knew dogs. He suspected that Alec was genuinely happy to see him.

Alec cleared the stream in a single graceful jump, landed in the mud, and came to a stop only inches away from where James stood, splattering mud and water up over his shoes and trousers. Even standing, James wasn’t much taller than Alec in wolf form, so Alec’s head-butt took James right in the chest, making him cough.

“Hey,  _ easy _ ,” James chided with a laugh and reached up to brush his hand along the top of Alec’s head. Alec didn’t seem to be upset with him, and the sense of relief that came with that realisation was almost physical. He buried his fingers in Alec’s fur, lightly scratching behind Alec’s ears. “I’m sorry you left this morning,” James quietly confided. It didn’t matter what the reasons were for Alec’s departure. All that mattered was that Alec thought he  _ had _ to.

Alec rubbed against James from chest to knees, more like some prehistoric giant cat than a werewolf. He lowered his head and nipped at James’ hip, giving his trousers a tug, and then head-butted James when his scratching fingers went momentarily still.

“Oh, excuse me,” James said dryly. He resumed his petting, smiling down at Alec. Remembering Alec’s tug on his trousers, he added, “I’m not taking my trousers off for you — at least not out here where people can see.” His eyes widened, surprised at his own words. He hadn’t meant to say that last part.

Alec’s only response was to turn slightly, moving beneath James’ hands until James was scratching over his spine. As clouds of thick white fur rose up, Alec leaned heavily against James’ body and let out a deep sigh of contentment.

At the fur flying everywhere, James stilled his hand along Alec’s back. “This would be a lot easier if you were human, you know.”

With a deep, resigned sigh, Alec pushed up against James’ hand — and then he shifted, and James found his hand resting along Alec’s bare back, feeling every vertebrae and muscle.

Entirely unselfconscious, Alec turned just enough to lean against James’ body, chest-to-chest, and gave a little discontented growl when James’ hands didn’t immediately start moving again.

James' breath caught at Alec’s closeness. He stared at Alec for barely a second before he forced himself to relax. He reminded himself that this was just how Alec was. He had no concept of propriety and decorum.

With a huff of laughter, James slowly ran his fingers up and down Alec’s spine again. “Is this what you wanted?” he asked in Russian.

“Fur go off,” Alec said, his words slurred with pleasure. He rested his head on James’ shoulder, and though he didn’t wrap his arms around James’ body, he did brace his hands on James’ hips. “Fur go off... bite?” he asked, pressing deliberately back against James’ fingertips.

James' fingers stuttered before he started stroking Alec again. “I  _ can’t _ ,” he whispered imploringly “I know you don’t understand, but humans... They need their clothes — their  _ fur _ . People accept it when you aren’t wearing anything. They wouldn’t accept it if I didn’t.”

Alec huffed and pulled back enough to look down at James’ chest. “ _ Fur _ off. My skin bite. You good, my skin,” he said with a frustrated sigh. “Better words.”

“I... All right.” James quickly took off his coat — still the damaged one from the night before. He threw it on the ground behind him before reaching for the buttons on his shirt.

“James,” Alec said sharply. He caught at James’ hands, throwing a quick glance at the discarded coat. “Cold. James clothes.  _ Coat _ ,” he added, apparently remembering last night’s grammar lesson.

“You just told me to take them off!” James countered, exasperated. It had been clear, even last night, that Alec hated James’ clothes. But now that James was actually trying to shed them... Alec needed to make up his mind.

“Off,” Alec said as though seizing the word. “My  _ fur _ off. James cold,” he insisted, pressing his body close once more as he rubbed his cheek against James’. “James is coat  _ not _ off.”

James sighed and wrapped his arms around Alec, holding him tight. “Do you want me to take my clothes off or not? I don’t understand, Alec.” And he didn’t. He thought Alec wanted him to at least lose his top layers, but now he wasn’t sure. The only thing he was sure of was that he would. For Alec.

“James  _ not _ cold,” Alec insisted. Hesitantly, he moved his hands from James’ hips to awkwardly flatten his palms on James’ back, a precise mirror of how James was holding him. He must have liked it, for he let out a quiet sigh that sounded content, and his body relaxed, moulding itself against James’. “My fur off. My fur bite. You” — Alec shrugged — “James hands fur  _ not _ bite. You hands better.”

James laughed and pulled Alec impossibly closer. “I like hugging you too, Alec,” he murmured against Alec’s shoulder.

They stood like that for a while. James had no idea how long — it could have been minutes, or even hours. He tried to tell himself that this was wrong, but every time the words came to mind, he felt the press of Alec against his chest, and a different sense came over him: a sense of contentment, a sense of  _ rightness _ .

That didn’t stop the nagging sensation that someone might be watching, though. That  _ Oberhauser _ might be watching them. James gave one last brush along Alec’s spine, pulled back to catch Alec’s eye, and said, “We should go somewhere else.” It sounded stupid, even in his own head, but he couldn’t bring himself to outright suggest they go to Alec’s home.

“Coat,” Alec ordered sternly, a hint of a growl creeping into his tone of voice.

James shook his head affectionately. “All right,  _ fine _ .” He pulled his hands completely from Alec’s back and held them up in mock surrender. “I’ll put the coat back on.”

Alec gave another disgruntled huff, eyeing James’ hands for a moment. When James picked up the coat and put it on, Alec said, “James run.”

“What do you mean  _ run _ ?”

Alec leaned in as if about to bite James, then caught himself. Instead, he put his hand on James’ shoulder, gathered up a handful of fabric, and gave a sharp tug. “James run,” he said with one last pull before he twisted away and fell to all fours, into his fur.

James laughed. “All right, but you do realise I won’t be able to keep up with you, right?” He was athletic and strong, but even at top speed he knew Alec would outpace him. “Try not to go too fast.”

Alec barked in answer. Then he started to trot, not across the stream but following its course, taking care to avoid low branches that he could duck but James couldn’t.

The trees thickened, cutting off the wind without doing much to reduce the chill. When they reached a small game trail, Alec turned away from the stream, heading towards a thicket of thorny bushes. He barked at James once more, the sound quieter, before he ducked his head and inched into the bushes, where a tunnel had been carved out, all but invisible. Only a few thorns remained in that arching tunnel, all of them well marked with tufts of Alec’s white fur.

James crouched down and crawled in after Alec, excitement and trepidation fighting for dominance within him. He wanted to visit Alec’s home, but inside this place, there was no chance — no  _ worry _ — about anybody finding them.

The tunnel twisted one way, then the other, almost too sharply for James to follow, and then let out in what felt like a spacious, low chamber, though it was pitch dark despite the daylight outside. James heard a familiar sound — the wheel of a lighter — and fire flared bright, driving back the darkness. Alec, now in human form once more, lit the stub of a candle that was set in a cracked porcelain dish half-filled with gravel.

There was enough room inside for James to sit upright without hitting his head on the roof of woven pine branches. More branches formed curving, irregular walls. Once past the entryway, the floor was made up of raised, flat boards resting across rocks and strong tree limbs to lift the boards out of the earth. An oiled canvas sailcloth had been draped over something — perhaps a pile of folded cloth — off to one side. Everything was lightly dusted with Alec’s white, shedding fur.

“So this is your home?” James asked as he looked around at the neat, almost empty chamber. After taking it in, his eyes finally rested on Alec, and he gave his werewolf a tiny smile. “I like what you’ve done with the place.”

“One home,” Alec said, pulling the sailcloth away to reveal a pile of folded wool blankets, the sort of drab grey-green ones used by the military of so many nations. He wrinkled his nose distastefully as he pulled the top blanket off the pile and shoved it at James. Then he took down another blanket and spread it on the rough floor like a makeshift rug. “James food.”

James shook his head and moved over to sit on the blanket. “I’m okay. Oberhauser made me breakfast. Did you eat today?”

“Yes.” Alec settled down right next to James, turned to face him. He glanced up at the ceiling and said, “One home. My four home. More home better. Rain and snow.”

Despite how much they’d talked and worked on Alec’s speech the night before, it still took James a fairly long time to figure out what Alec had just said to him. With an understanding smile, he said, “I have more than one home, as well. Oberhauser’s cabin” — he pointed out towards the entrance to the chamber — “Oberhauser’s regular home, and the home I grew up in as a child.” He grimaced at the memory of Skyfall Lodge. “I don’t go to that last one, though. I just own it, I guess.”

“Have,” Alec muttered. Then he twisted on his side and curled up, resting his head on James’ thigh. “James have my four home, and.” He smiled up at James.

James leaned back and started carding his hand through Alec’s hair. For the first time all morning, he felt content, comfortable. “I’ll only take your home if you promise to share it with me. Would that be all right?”

“James  _ and _ my,” Alec agreed, eyes half-closed with pleasure. “James stay.”

“I have to go back at some point. Even with my coat, it’ll be too cold for me at night,” James pointed out. With a nervous sigh, he let his hand trail down Alec’s cheek before running it through gold strands again. Alec was gorgeous in his white fur, but he was just as handsome as a human, with his short, ragged beard softening his strong chin and jaw. Green or gold or both, his eyes were striking. He was in perfect health, with unbroken straight white teeth, flawless skin, strength apparent in his limbs. James suspected Alec had never had a cough or fever or even broken a bone. There was a sense of power in him — strength that went beyond the obvious strength of a werewolf.

“I and you,” Alec declared, inching closer. Then he exhaled sharply and smiled up at James. “Custodian...  _ rules _ ,” he said, switching to German for only that last word. “Clothes. Pants and shirts and trousers.” He wrinkled his nose distastefully.

James chucked softly. “Clothes aren’t so bad, Alec. If you wore clothes, we could spend time other places. Places where it’s better for you to be a human.” He wrapped his fingers possessively around Alec’s jaw and grudgingly added, “A lot of people still aren’t okay with” — he stopped himself before he could say  _ you _ — “werewolves.”

Alec sighed as though deeply exasperated. “Clothes  _ bite _ ,” he complained, a hint of a canine whine creeping into his voice. “Warm spring fur bite.  _ And _ clothes, more bite.”

James knew Alec meant that they itched. And if the only clothes he’d ever tried were the ones Oberhauser had given him, of course they did. The clothes in Oberhauser’s cabin were meant for warmth, not comfort. “They don’t have to itch.” He gazed down the length of Alec’s body, taking in his size and resolutely  _ not _ looking  _ there _ . “You and I are about the same size,” he noted thoughtfully. “I bet I have some things that you won’t find itchy.”

“Itch. Itchy.” Alec grinned. “Warm spring fur  _ itchy _ .” James started to laugh, only have his breath hitch when Alec suddenly rubbed his face against James’ trousers. “James trousers itchy,” he said thoughtfully. “Not  _ much _ itchy.”

“See? These aren’t so bad.” James took a deep breath to get himself under control and went back to stroking Alec’s hair. “I’ve seen the stuff Oberhauser has tried to give you. Even I would find those clothes itchy.”

Alec opened his eyes, giving James a sly look. “James’ shirt,” he said, rolling over and away from James. He got up on all fours and crawled to the pile of blankets with no modesty at all. James turned away for a moment, trying not to stare at Alec’s backside. When he looked back, Alec was rifling through the pile until he pulled out James’ shirt, the one he’d stolen. It was covered with fur.

James quirked an eyebrow at the state his shirt was in. “Let me guess.” He nodded towards the shirt. “You sleep with it, don’t you?” Even before Alec answered, James felt a little thrill that the answer would almost certainly be yes.

“Is James,” Alec said tentatively, crawling back over to him. He left the shirt on the blanket and moved to sit close, facing him again, legs pressed together. “Is... Alec  _ one _ . Pack sixteen.” He nodded towards the tunnel entrance. “Alec one, and  _ James _ and Custodian, two. Alec and James is two.”

James reached up and touched his fingers to Alec’s jaw, the feel of blond stubble tickling his fingertips. God, Oberhauser would  _ kill _ him if he saw the two of them like this. But James couldn’t deny the fact that Alec was special. A little voice wondered if it was because Alec was the first werewolf James had met, but it couldn’t be. It was clear that Alec wanted to be part of James’ life just as much as James wanted to be part of his.

Fear and uncertainty and excitement raged through James. “Yes, Alec,” he whispered. “We are.” Then, as his emotions coalesced into a blinding flash of bravery, he leaned in and lightly brushed his lips against Alec’s.

Startled, Alec twitched away, barely an inch, and huffed out a sharp exhale, almost a sneeze. He blinked at James, then leaned back in, until their mouths were just a hairsbreadth apart. Instead of kissing, though, he sniffed.

Oh, God, had he read Alec wrong? Panic quickly took over, and James held his breath, trying not to move. If he startled Alec again, he had no idea if the wolf might attack.

A heartbeat later, Alec drew back again, head tipped to the side. Then he relaxed and said, “James is human.” He braced one hand on the other side of James’ lap, leaning across his legs, and lifted his other hand to the back of James’ neck. His fingers curled until his nails just touched James’ skin.

James gave a short nod. He had no idea what Alec was doing, but he wasn’t moving any closer. And he was pointing out that James wasn’t like him. God, maybe James really  _ had _ misread the situation. “I’m sorry, Alec,” he apologised. “I guess I thought...” He trailed off and looked down. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this embarrassed in his life.

“Sorry,” Alec repeated with a low growl. He tightened his fingers and gave James a little shake. “Not  _ sorry _ ,” he scolded. “James.  _ My _ James.  _ Sorry _ is  _ not-better _ human.”

James looked warily up at Alec. There was no sign of disgust or rejection on Alec’s face. But if Alec wasn’t rejecting him, then why had Alec pulled away? What was he trying to say to James?

James sighed, trying to push aside his initial sense of disappointment so he could think clearly. It didn’t help to make sense of Alec’s words, though, as much as he’d hoped. “I don’t understand,” he finally said.

“James  _ not _ sorry,” Alec insisted. “Sorry is...” He wrinkled his nose and growled. “ _ Not _ James. Words, James.  _ Not. Sorry _ ,” he said expectantly.

“I’m not sorry?” It wasn’t a question, but James still didn’t know what Alec wanted.

Apparently, that was enough. Alec’s hand relaxed, and he quietly said, “Better. James is  _ my _ .  _ Mine _ . Not sorry.”

“I’m not sorry,” James repeated tentatively. Relief settled in at the words and he smiled. He reached up to run his fingers through Alec’s hair again. As his hand came to rest against Alec’s nape, he curled his fingers tight, just as his wolf was doing to him. “I’m not sorry.”

“Better,” Alec approved as he closed the last inch or two between them. But instead of sniffing, as he’d done before, he inexpertly pressed his lips to James’ in a kiss even more awkward than their first.

Wary of startling Alec, James bit down on a laugh, as affectionate as it might have been. It was quickly becoming clear that this was Alec’s first real kiss, at least as a human, and he wanted to let Alec have it.

Truthfully, though, it was James’ first kiss as well, at least with another man. For all that James had experienced sexually in his life — including the incident that got him kicked out of Eton — this was uncharted territory.

He tightened his grip on Alec and slowly worked to take over the kiss. Guessing how Alec might respond, James opened his mouth and lightly nipped at Alec’s bottom lip.

Alec twitched back, giving James a sharp-eyed look. Then, deliberately, he tipped his head and bit James’ lip carefully, too softly for James to feel more than a slight press of teeth.

James huffed a laugh against Alec’s mouth, letting his werewolf experiment. After a moment, he gently pulled back to stare into golden eyes that were only barely flecked with green. “That was perfect, Alec,” he said quietly. He ran his other hand through Alec’s hair — he really was becoming addicted — before placing it lightly against Alec’s jaw. “Was that all right for you?”

“Is —” Alec faltered, gaze dropping for a moment to James’ mouth. “Words,” he insisted.

“That was kissing,” James said, answering Alec’s unspoken question. “It’s how humans...” He stopped, at a loss for words himself this time. He lifted Alec’s chin to see those eyes again. “It’s how we show that we like someone. As  _ more _ than friends.”

“Kissing.” Alec muttered the word to himself a couple of times as though committing it to memory. Then he frowned and growled briefly. “James not  _ kissing _ more friends not Alec.”

“What?” James asked, startled by the question. “No, Alec, I'm not.” He smiled and leaned in to place a quick chaste kiss on Alec’s lips. “I’m not kissing anyone but you.”

Alec didn’t smirk — he could barely smile like a human, in fact — but there was definitely a hint of a smirk in his expression. “Better,” he said, and nipped James’ bottom lip again.


	6. Chapter 6

James had never been one to fear the darkness, but he had to admit, having a werewolf by his side made the nighttime forest as safe as a walk in the park. Safer, perhaps. He’d defy any cutpurse to get within twenty feet without Alec noticing.

Alec stopped when they reached the stream, so he could submerge his muzzle and rub his face against his forelegs, like a human washing his face and hands. Then he lapped up water, only to go momentarily still. When he turned back to look at James, water dripped off his muzzle. He gave a brief growl, almost too soft for James to hear, and slapped one paw on the ground.

James took a step back before he’d even realised he’d done so. “What is it?” he asked quietly. All his thoughts about having his own protector, and he was still acting like a scared little boy.

Of course, Alec couldn’t answer, except to slap his paw against the ground again. Then he twisted, leaped over the stream, and rushed off into the trees, like a silent white ghost.

Again without thinking, James took a step forward after Alec. He’d thought someone was approaching; he hadn’t expected Alec to take off like that. He stared after his wolf, dumbfounded by whatever he’d missed.

He stood there watching the spot where Alec had disappeared for several minutes. When it was clear Alec wasn’t immediately coming back, James slumped against the nearest tree. He wasn’t about to walk back by himself, not just yet. Alec would never have left him without a good reason. James was sure he would return at some point.

He thought about what had happened back in Alec’s home. There was nowhere in this world that his behaviour would be found acceptable. And while he still felt a pang of anxiety, his growing feelings for Alec overshadowed it.

He didn’t know why, but something about Alec just felt  _ right _ . Like this was where he was always meant to end up in life. Where men his age were going off to work or to university, James knew his purpose lay in these mountains.

The idea of it didn’t even scare him. No, what he found most fearful was how  _ quickly _ it had all happened. It had been less than a week since he’d even met Alec. And if the great stories of the past had ever taught him anything, it was that whatever came in on a flame burned out just as quickly. The thought rattled him to his core.

Motion caught James’ eye, on the far side of the stream, jarring him from his morose thoughts. He saw white fur, and started to breathe a sigh of relief, but what stepped into sight wasn’t a wolf.

It was unmistakably a werewolf in hybrid form — Alec or another one, James wasn’t certain, though surely white wolves weren’t that common. He’d never seen a wolf in hybrid form outside of pictures, but he’d always thought they’d be bigger, standing ten or twelve feet tall at least. This one was half that, barely taller than James himself. Its shoulders and upper body were strangely dark, strangely deformed — or so James thought, until it stepped out of the trees. Then he saw it was carrying a deer over its shoulders, held in place by its long, clawed fingers wrapped around the deer’s legs.

“Alec?” James asked, not moving away from the tree. Truthfully, he wanted to step away from the creature, but he had nowhere to go.

The werewolf growled briefly and splashed across the stream. Before it reached where James stood, it ducked low and let the deer carcass roll off onto the muddy bank. Ignoring the cold water rushing over its legs, the werewolf crouched down and pushed the deer over onto its side. Then it barked insistently at James.

That bark was definitely Alec’s. James let his relief show in his smile as he pushed off the tree. Distantly he wondered if he should be bothered by the dead deer, but he really wasn’t. It was no worse than going hunting with Kincade all those years ago.

When James reached the deer, he stopped and looked down at Alec. “Is this for me?”

Alec barked again, and this time it sounded like laughter. He growled and started to lean over the carcass; then he caught himself and deliberately prodded James’ stomach with the back of a long, curved claw.

When James froze, it was for barely half a second, one he hoped Alec didn’t notice. Hybrids were always seen as the more fearsome incarnation of a werewolf. As strong as James liked to think himself to be, he’d been conditioned at a young age to fear the creature in front of him.

He took a deep breath, told himself this was  _ Alec _ , and stepped forward, smile firmly planted in place. “I take it you want to share. Is that it? It is your kill, after all.”

Alec’s jaw dropped open, possibly in a smile. He rolled the deer partially onto its back. Then he took that same claw he’d used to prod at James and sliced the deer into the deer’s backside, under the tail. Slowly, he worked his claw up to the ribcage and over the bones, all the way to the deer’s throat. A few more internal cuts with his claws, and he eased the deer onto its side again. He reached inside the deer and pulled the internal organs out. Most of them, he left on the bank of the stream.

Then he crouched back and held out one clawed hand, offering James the deer’s bloody, warm heart.

James mind went completely blank as he stared at the offered organ. He didn’t want to offend Alec, but it was a  _ heart _ .

Then he remembered all the times  _ he’d _ had to deal with the innards of one of his kills. This was no different. He’d handled all types of creatures before. He could handle this.

He crouched down in front of Alec and held out his hand, letting Alec drop the heart onto his waiting palm. It was heavier than he’d expected, but even though he  _ had _ handled game before, he tended to deal with wild bird more than anything. He hefted the heart in his hand, testing the weight, and said, “Thank you. I don’t usually get to feast on wild game, even out here.” He looked up at Alec, mesmerised by the creature in front of him. “Mind if we take this back to the cabin? I bet the old man could do a good job cooking this for us.”

Alec’s jaw dropped a little more, and he dug back into the carcass. This time, he offered James the dripping, squishy liver.

James opened his mouth to protest but stopped himself. The heart and liver needed to be removed regardless, and as long as this was all Alec expected him to take, he’d be fine.

He held out his other hand to take the liver, considering his options for what to do with them. He had nowhere to put them, but if he left them here, the smell would attract both wildlife  _ and _ and other werewolves. He didn’t know the rest of them that well and didn’t trust them getting too close to the cabin.

He decided the best option was for Alec to carry the deer, and he would bring the proffered organs. Decision made, he looked up at Alec. “We should take these back to the cabin. Can you carry the deer while I carry these?” He held up the heart and liver. “We can strip the rest of the deer there.”

Alec growled again, and James absently realised that Alec really did lack human body language. He didn’t nod or shake his head, and he’d barely begun to use his hands to point.

Alec turned away and splashed water over his hands and forearms, scrubbing the worst of the blood out of his fur. He ducked to take another drink — facing upstream, James noticed, where the water flowed cleanly. Then Alec turned and picked up the deer without a hint of strain or effort, balancing it over his back once more. He led the way upstream, heading for the waterfall.

James followed, keeping close behind Alec. With fresh meat in both their hands, he didn’t want to run the risk of getting caught off guard if other predators came sniffing. But carrying the organs was more than just a little unpleasant. Usually he just pulled them from his kills and discarded them. Right now, as they walked along the edge of the stream, he had an overwhelming need to drop them and plunge his hands in the water so he could scrub his skin clean.

Not that anything was about to bother a werewolf, freshly killed deer or not. James saw no sign of predators or scavengers or even the other werewolves, though he knew their territory was much deeper in the valley. Alec was the one who lived on the fringes of human territory, closest to Oberhauser’s cabin.

They made it to the cabin in good time, despite the weight Alec carried. As he stepped into the backyard, he raised his muzzle and let out a short howl.

James glanced sharply at Alec. He knew Alec was simply calling for Oberhauser, but after what they’d done earlier that day, James was still irrationally tense about seeing the old man.

Alec didn’t stop walking until he was at the back porch, where he ducked and twisted to let the deer fall off his shoulders. James walked up next to him, still holding the heart and liver. He’d wait until Oberhauser brought him a plate for the raw meat. As it was, Alec had carried the deer with the cut horizontal. Some blood had run down his back, but the rest had pooled in the body cavity. When he’d dropped the carcass, blood splashed out and was now oozing down the porch steps.

Oberhauser was going to kill them both.

Unconcerned by the mess or his own condition, Alec crouched down, mouth hanging open, lightly panting. The look he gave James seemed to be self-satisfied, even proud. It reminded him of an old cat at Skyfall that used to leave dead mice on the front porch for them to find. Everyone used to yell at the cat, but James would secretly praise her, just as he praised Alec now, giving his friend an affectionate smile.

Then Oberhauser opened the back door and held up a lantern. His eyes went first to James, then to Alec, and last to the deer. Then he sighed and asked in German, “Been hunting, have we?”

“Yes, sir,” James answered, also in German. He would need to start working on Alec’s German if his werewolf was to spend more time with him and Oberhauser. “I thought we might have some of the meat for dinner.”

Oberhauser extended the lantern to James, then went still, apparently noticing the heart and liver in his hands for the first time. With a rough laugh, Oberhauser said, “Stay there,” and went back inside.

Still crouched on the ground, Alec nudged James’ leg with one claw and looked up at him, jaw hanging open in what was unmistakably a grin.

“Don’t smile at me like that, wolf,” James said in a half-hearted attempt to scold Alec. “If we get in trouble for this, I’m blaming you.”

Alec huffed out a breath and poked James again, harder this time, but still playful and affectionate.

Oberhauser returned with a lantern and platter, which he held out for James to hand over the heart and liver. “After you’re finished butchering it, wash up. Thoroughly,” he said, pointing one finger towards the water pump in the yard. “I’ll build up the fire and bring clean clothes for the both of you.  _ Both _ of you,” he added, giving Alec a stern look.

Alec sighed deeply.

Oberhauser grinned and glanced down at the deer. “Good work,” he said more gently.

As Oberhauser went inside, James stole a glance in Alec’s direction. “You got lucky,” he whispered furiously, knowing Alec wouldn’t think so, at least where the clothes were concerned.

Alec turned and nipped James’ trousers, right above the knee. Then he moved over to the deer and started butchering it with delicate claws and strong, furry hands.

~~~

If nothing else, werewolves were more efficient than humans at butchering. Alec had the carcass cleaned and butchered, the hide separated, bones set aside, in half the time it would have taken James. Oberhauser brought in each piece as it was readied, and then pointedly left towels and clothes hanging on the porch railing.

Once they were done, he handed James a bar of soap and said, “Don’t let him try to shift out of his fur and call it good enough. You can wash your clothes tomorrow, when the sun is out to help them dry. I’ll go build up the fire.”

James eyed Alec, who was up on his feet now and inching away. He walked over and stood in front of Alec, holding out the bar of soap. “You heard him. You either let me wash you, or this is going to end badly.” He smiled mischievously. “For both of us, I presume.”

Alec’s nostrils flared as he eyed the soap suspiciously. Then he sneezed. Violently.

“Really, Alec?” James asked incredulously. His smile turned wicked, and he stepped closer, bracing himself for a fight. “You can’t expect me to believe you’re allergic to soap. That hasn’t worked for  _ me _ since I was five.”

Still staring at the soap, Alec whined.

With an exasperated huff, James shoved Alec under the water pump. Before he had a chance to fight back, James pushed down on the handle, sending a spray of water over Alec’s back.

Alec tried to twist out from under the water, but James grabbed him by the scruff to hold him down. There was no doubt that Alec was stronger, but he would never do anything that might jeopardise James’ safety, which meant James could get away with pretty much whatever he wanted.

“Hold still, mutt,” James growled playfully in Alec’s ear. “This will go a lot faster if you just do what I tell you to do.”

Alec whined again, hunching down under the water with a deep, resigned sigh. Only when James stopped the pump and started rubbing the soap over his back did he relax at all. When James put the soap aside and scratched at his fur, working the soap deep into the undercoat, Alec let out a long, low growl of sheer pleasure, stretching under James’ hands.

James chuckled, low and satisfied. “So, you like this?” He pushed his fingers through Alec’s fur, working against the grain. “I could do this all night, if you let me.”

The words caught James by surprise, and he blinked at the sheer audacity of them. He hadn’t even thought along those terms, not until now. And even that was surprising. Sex was usually the first thing he jumped towards.

Under James’ hands, Alec was entirely compliant, allowing James to scrub and scratch and lather as he wished, until every speck of blood was lost under soap bubbles. The chill from the splashing water settled into James’ bones, but he still kept washing, running his hands over Alec’s chest and arms and neck, though Alec could have reached those spots well enough for himself.

Alec sneezed a couple of times, though he made no protest. He leaned into the touch, exhaling every breath with a soft, low rumbling sound that turned into a complaining whine when James finally had to stop to rinse them both off.

“Sorry, Alec, but it’s getting bloody cold standing in this water.” As if to prove he meant it, James shivered from head to toe. “And you need to switch to your human form.”

He glanced longingly at Alec’s chest, wishing he didn’t have to take his hands away. But Oberhauser had insisted on them both wearing clothes, which meant he wanted them both human. It wouldn’t look good for either of them if James kept putting his hands on Alec’s  _ human _ chest.

With an exasperated exhale, Alec stood, fur melting away in the space of a heartbeat. “Clothes,” he said in Russian with deep contempt as he lifted a hand to touch James’ chest. “James,” he added more softly, and he leaned in to rub his cheek against James’ before turning to kiss him.

James jerked back away from Alec. He glanced wildly around, expecting Oberhauser to come out and start yelling at them any second. When it didn’t immediately happen, he turned back to Alec and snapped, “You can’t do that! We’ll get in trouble.”

Alec stared at James, his expression unreadable. Then he turned away, towards the forest, and started to move, and James grabbed at his arm as he fell forward.

This time, James  _ felt _ the shift of bone and muscle, skin and fur, as Alec landed on four paws, only to collapse, off-balance, under James’ weight. Alec kicked at the ground, but James put his wrestling and judo to good use, pinning the wolf beneath him.

“Alec, no.  _ Please. _ ” James held the wolf in place and stared at him imploringly. “You just... You can’t kiss me in front of Oberhauser.” He quickly glanced back towards the cabin. “Humans don’t understand when it’s two men. They get mad.  _ He’ll _ get mad.” He reached up to tentatively place his hand on Alec’s cheek and said quietly, “He’s the only family I have left.  _ Please _ understand.”

Alec’s sigh sounded exasperated, but he stopped struggling. He turned and licked at James’ hand.

Then he sneezed.

James laughed and leaned down to whisper in Alec’s ear. “No more soap for you. Our secret.” He pushed back up to smile uncertainly at his friend. “Will you stay? Please stay. I want you here.”

After a moment, Alec turned his head enough to nip at James’ sleeve. He gave it a tug and whined imploringly.

“My clothes are wet, Alec,” James reminded him. He really was getting much better at understanding not just Alec’s halted speech but his intonations while in werewolf form. “If Oberhauser brought my clothes down, you can wear those. If he didn’t, we’ll just sneak up to my room and you can borrow something of mine.” He leaned down to rest his cheek against Alec’s muzzle. “Don’t worry. The only thing I care about now is making sure you’re happy.”

And, God, if that wasn’t the truth.


	7. Chapter 7

The sitting room was warm enough to finally drive away the cold chill, thanks in part to thick blankets and the tea that Oberhauser had given them both. Much as James hated tea, this was spiked with a generous measure of whiskey. Honey got rid of the last bitter taste of the tea.

Alec, dressed in a full set of James’ clothes, had sniffed at his mug suspiciously before he stuck his tongue in. His huff was almost a sneeze — a reaction James was coming to learn happened with anything that smelled too strong or had too powerful a taste. But he kept watching James and finally managed to take a few sips, though James could tell he wasn’t enjoying it.

“James and my house?” he asked in Russian once he’d emptied the mug and put it on the table.

James shook his head, glancing quickly back towards the kitchen. Oberhauser was out of sight, still cooking their dinner. “It’s too cold for me, remember?” He reached over to scratch lightly at the bare skin on Alec’s neck. “I don’t have fur that I can change into. I need the warmth from here.” He glanced awkwardly down into his half-full mug. “You could stay here, you know. You would just have to try and stay in your human form.” He glanced up to smile at Alec. “Keep the fur off the couch, and all that.”

“Yes,” Alec said simply, casting a contemptuous little glare down at the couch — currently free of fur. Then he leaned his shoulder against James’, seeking physical contact in a way that felt automatic, perhaps even unconscious. He switched to German then, saying, “Roe deer. Doe. Word.”

“In Russian?” James thought for a minute. His Russian vocabulary was good, but not nearly as good as his German. Remembering a lesson he once had with his mother out near the moor, he turned to Alec, his eyes lighting up. “It’s _lan_.” He smiled and gently placed his hand on Alec’s knee where he knew Oberhauser couldn’t see. The act sent a little thrill up his spine.

_ “Lan,” _ Alec repeated. In Russian, he continued, “Deer alone. Not... deer and child. Not deer and pack. My kill deer alone, not deer and child.”

James gave Alec’s knee a gentle squeeze. “You didn’t kill a mother? Is that what you’re trying to say?”

“Mother. Yes,” Alec said quickly. “Not kill mother. Not kill” — he considered for a moment — “pack father. Not kill child. Kill deer alone. Kill _ food _ alone.”

It was clear Alec knew what he was doing when it came to hunting. If he’d killed a solitary deer, then he wasn’t endangering an entire herd by taking a nursing mother or a buck that had yet to breed, possibly damaging next year’s food supply.

Where had Alec picked up his skills? James knew Alec had learned quite a bit from his parents before they’d died, but he hadn’t given James any details. Had he learned everything before his parents had died? Or had he been forced to teach himself once he was alone?

“That’s good that you know to do that. Did you learn that on your own?” James didn’t want to ask outright about Alec’s parents.

“Pack and Custodian.” Alec turned and folded his legs up on the couch, resting his knees on James’ thigh. He snuggled closer, head resting on James’ shoulder. “Learn skills pack. Learn words and skills Custodian.” He rubbed his cheek against James’ shirt. “And James.”

James tensed in apprehension; Oberhauser could come back in at any moment and see them. So Alec wouldn’t feel rejected, James first wrapped an arm around Alec’s shoulders to give his werewolf a quick hug. “Um, Alec? This is what I meant earlier. We can’t sit like this in front of Oberhauser. It wouldn’t look right.” He pulled his arm back and rested his hands in his lap.

Alec stared at him, then looked down at the couch once more. “Sit. Sit couch. Humans sit couch, not floor.”

James chuckled softly. “No, not sitting on the couch. That’s fine. We just can’t sit this _ close _ on the couch. Really, we shouldn’t be touching at all.” He smiled sadly at Alec. After earlier, all he _ wanted _ to do now was touch Alec, hold him close. Whatever this was, it was new and exciting, and he hated that it had come to such a grinding halt all for the sake of hiding it from Oberhauser. Which itself was something of a novelty. He’d hidden his relations with women before, and he never cared. But for some reason, with Alec, the idea of hiding made his stomach turn.

Alec growled out, “Human _ rules _ ,” and looked away, towards the fireplace. “Human _ rules _ and clothes... _ Human _ rules kill deer — _ mother _ deer. Human rules _ not intelligent _.”

“No, they’re not. But it doesn’t change the fact that they exist.” He gently pushed Alec’s legs away. Alec snarled softly and moved away, all the way to the other side of the couch. James wanted to reach out and touch Alec, to bring him back and comfort him, but he knew it would just lead to disaster if they were caught. “Please understand, we’re in Oberhauser’s home. We have to obey, at least for now.”

Abruptly, Alec pushed off the couch and stepped up onto the coffee table, then down off the other side, stalking in a straight line for the kitchen doorway.

James jumped up to intercept Alec before he could make it the kitchen. He stopped in front of Alec, blocking his path. “Alec, no!” he hissed. “You can’t say anything. He’ll throw —”

“Alec _ not human _.” He shoved James hard enough to send him stumbling back into the staircase. James panicked as Alec stormed into the kitchen and snapped, “Custodian!”

James ran after him to try and stop him, but pulled up short when he saw Oberhauser standing by the sink. His fear became visceral, his heart pounding in his chest, his throat closing up, because now he had _ no way _of stopping Alec.

“What’s going on?” Oberhauser asked in German, looking from Alec to James and back.

“Alec _ werewolf _,” Alec declared, stopping just a foot from Oberhauser, his body language daring Oberhauser to challenge him. “Custodian house, Alec learn human.”

It was unthinkable to see _ fear _ in Oberhauser’s expression. Well over six feet tall, solidly muscled, Oberhauser was the sort of man who could face down anything short of an angry bear. And Alec was lanky, almost slender by comparison, with his scruffy almost-beard and long, unkempt hair — anything _ but _ intimidating. But it was Oberhauser who took a careful step back, until he was pressed up against the counter.

“You’re learning human ways, yes,” Oberhauser said cautiously.

“Trade,” he growled, jerking his head in the direction of the back door. “Alec territory, James learn _ werewolf _.”

James’ panic quickly gave way to shock. “But Alec, I’m _ not _ a werewolf.”

Alec looked at him with eyes gone entirely gold. “Alec not human,” he countered.

“James,” Oberhauser interrupted quietly, thoughtfully. “If he’s willing to teach you... We still have so much to learn.”

James nodded, relieved. Alec wasn’t outing them, and that was all that mattered. He’d learn anything Alec wanted to teach him if it meant keeping... whatever they were a secret from Oberhauser. Plus, if they agreed, it meant Alec would be able to spend more time at the cabin.

“I would agree to that,” James said simply. He kept eye contact with Oberhauser, refusing to look at Alec.

Oberhauser smiled at him. “Just remember to look out for yourself.” To Alec, he added, “If James says he can’t or won’t do something, you have to trust him. No raw food and the like.”

Alec eyed Oberhauser uncertainly, then glanced sidelong at James. “Trade?”

James finally glanced at Alec. “Trade.”

~~~

Humans, Alec decided, were even more erratic than wild animals fighting over mates. At least animal behaviour made sense. Humans filled their world with random rules for no good reason — not that Alec could see — and complained when sensible werewolves tried to point out their idiocy.

“Alec, we use forks and knives,” the Custodian complained. “Alec, we don’t eat food raw. It’s cooked rare. That’s good enough.” And “Alec, we wait until everyone’s done with the first helping before taking seconds.”

Some rules made sense when eating. Of course they did. In lean winters, first feed the young, the breeding, and those who were ill but not dying, so that more would survive to spring. Don’t waste food. Cull herds wisely, to keep the breeding population safe.

What did _ forks and knives _ have to do with being sensible?

But he endured all the dinner rules because he’d finally made progress. James had agreed to learn _ werewolf _ ways. The Custodian also wanted to learn, but on his terms, and with the pack. More than that, though, he wanted to _ teach _.

And given that his teachings involved forks and knives and clothes that itched, Alec was perfectly happy to be the teacher instead.

After dinner, the Custodian had James clean the kitchen. In the living room, the Custodian took down the book from the mantel and started to read from it, holding it where Alec could see the pages.

Bored in seconds, Alec yawned.

He _ wanted _ to learn to read. He’d learned the letters that stood for numbers in maths. But numbers made sense. These words were even more nonsense than the Custodian’s rules.

“It seems it’s getting late,” the Custodian said, closing the book. He got up from the couch and smiled at James, who came into the doorway between the kitchen and sitting room. “James, can you make up a bed for Alec?”

“Yes, sir.” James glanced uncertainly at the couch they were sitting on. “Should I make up the couch down here?”

Oberhauser nodded, giving Alec a quick, warning look. “No fur on the couch.”

_ Rules, _ Alec thought, exasperated. “Yes,” he said, though it came out more like a growl.

Laughing, James walked over to a door just off from the kitchen and pulled out a pile of blankets. “If he shifts in his sleep or something, these should at least help.” He gave Alec a wink.

Alec huffed in irritation but kept quiet. He had no intention of going near the couch at all, but James had the curious human habit of saying one thing with his words and the exact opposite with his body.

Words lied. Words had too many meanings. If James physically pushed Alec away, well, that was truth, however uncomfortable the thought. But until then, Alec would stay beside him. That, he suspected, was what James _ actually _ wanted.

James walked over to the couch, dropped the blankets on one end, and sat down next to Alec. He looked at both Alec and Oberhauser before taking in the book Oberhauser kept trying to get Alec to learn. His expression became hesitant when he asked, “How is he learning with that?” He nodded towards the Bible.

“Well...” Oberhauser drew out the word. “He’s better with numbers.”

Alec bit back on a growl. Numbers _ meant _ something. The only number that changed in meaning was zero. All the rest of them were constant. Dependable.

Suddenly James’ eyes lit up. “If it’s all right, next time we’re in Feldkirch, could we pick up books on Plato for him? It would give him a chance to learn language, history, and maths all at once.”

“That could help, yes,” Oberhauser said thoughtfully. “But you’ll have to remember it. Now, you two, get some sleep. It’s late.”

“Yes, sir,” James said.

As soon as Oberhauser was upstairs, Alec turned to James, switching to Russian with relief. “James and Alec home,” he said, wishing he could remember the right words. He’d once known Russian well enough to speak smoothly, almost like James did now, but he’d forgotten most of it.

“We can’t tonight.” James frowned at Alec, placing his hand lightly back on Alec’s knee. “Normally I wouldn’t care, but it’s already extraordinarily kind of Oberhauser to let you stay here tonight. I don’t think he normally would. As it is, we should probably stay in his good graces for now.”

“Tonight,” Alec said, memory sparking. Tonight. _ Time _. “Not tonight,” he said expectantly.

James shook his head. “No, not tonight. Besides, it’s warmer here. We can visit our home during the day and stay in this house at night. Would that work?”

“_ Word _ not tonight,” Alec insisted, exasperated. His patience was already frayed from the exasperating rules at the dinner table and the book that made no sense.

But none of that was James’ fault. He was trapped by the same stupid human rules. Alec leaned in — and then pulled back, remembering that James had pushed him away earlier. Frustrated, he growled and looked away, thinking he should go to _ his _ home. He could come back here tomorrow morning to get James.

James expression turned puzzled. “Do you mean tomorrow? Yes, we’ll go to our home tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.” Alec let out a relieved breath. “Tonight, tomorrow... And _ not _ tomorrow is word.”

“Today?”

“Today. And not today,” he pressed, closing his eyes. “Yesterday. Yesterday, today, tonight, tomorrow.”

James quietly laughed and Alec felt a hand pressed against his face. Startled by the touch, Alec opened his eyes to see James smiling at him. “Very good, Alec.”

The touch held Alec paralysed for a moment. First they _ could _ touch on the couch, then they _ couldn’t _, and now they could again? Maybe James’ body language wasn’t that much clearer than his words after all.

“Tomorrow, Alec trade werewolf teach,” he insisted firmly, sick of the ways humans muddied their communication, like silt stirred up in water. Once James learned how to _ think _, he’d be able to communicate properly, without all these misunderstandings.

James nodded, and a quiet laugh escaped him again. “Tomorrow, feel free to teach me whatever you want.”


	8. Chapter 8

Every time James breathed in, his nose tickled. Before his brain had even fully processed that he was awake, he had to fight the urge to keep from sneezing. Inwardly he groaned, because the last thing he needed was to be getting sick. He was supposed to be spending the day with Alec.

The moment he thought of his friend, the tickle in his nose made sense. He cracked open one eye to a faceful of white fur — which didn’t match how he’d gone to sleep, because he  _ distinctly _ remembered leaving Alec on the couch downstairs. Bastard must have snuck up in the middle of the night. James was more than just a little disappointed with himself that he’d slept right through it.

Alec, for his part, stirred only to shift heavily against James’ body. He’d gone so far as to slither beneath the blanket. He was as hot as a furnace under all that fur, and apparently James had tried to escape in his sleep, but Alec was having none of that. Now, James was pinned between Alec and the wall, with the wolf taking up most of the mattress.

Shifting slightly to get his hand under the sheet, he ran it down the side of Alec’s body, loving the feel of fur between his fingers. “Alec. Wake up,” he murmured in Alec’s ear. He managed to breathe in a tiny bit of fur, and he suddenly had to fight the urge to keep from coughing right into the back of Alec’s head.

Huffing lightly, Alec rolled onto his back, twisted up like a pretzel. His raised, kicking legs pulled the blanket almost entirely off James. Somehow, the wolf ended up with the entire pillow, too, head flopped backwards to cover it diagonally, from corner to corner.

“Jesus, you big mutt. Move over.” James shoved at Alec as best he could, working to reclaim at least some corner of his bed. When he managed to move Alec a whole two inches, he smiled in triumph. Victory was his.

Alec’s balance reached a tipping point, and he flopped over the other way, hitting James’ body with all four legs at once. He snorted and licked at his muzzle, then opened his eyes to golden slits. Then he yawned, jaws wide, fangs immense, and lashed out at James’ face, snaking his tongue from jaw to hairline in a whuff of wolf-breath.

James flinched and tried to bat at Alec, but both his hands were currently trapped underneath Alec’s body. Trying to pull them out, all he managed to do was rock Alec just enough to get smacked in the face by wolf limbs again.

He started to snicker, and then buried his face in Alec’s neck to keep Oberhauser from hearing the full-blown laugh that quickly followed. “Alec, you’re a menace,” he said between huffs of laughter, his voice muffled against the fur. Thankfully he managed not to swallow any this time.

That earned him another lick, this one over his ear and into his hair. James was still laughing when Alec’s body seemed to convulse, a violent head-to-tail twitch that ended with James tangled, head-to-toes, with a naked no-longer-wolf.

He blinked in surprise and fought the urge to flinch back again. His eyes immediately travelled to his door — which Alec had thankfully shut. He had no idea what time it was, but at least he didn’t hear Oberhauser moving around. With any luck, the man was probably still asleep.

He turned to look back at Alec just in time to see the gold in his eyes give way to green. Being this close to Alec, he was all too aware of his morning erection. He tried to shift back slightly to keep it from pressing into Alec, but his arse hit the wall almost instantly. He had nowhere to go.

“Alec, what are you doing?” he asked, trying to keep his shaky voice under control. “Fur is better if we’re this close to each other.”

“Custodian house  _ human _ ,” Alec muttered sleepily, winding himself around James like ivy. He buried his face against the crook of James’ neck and bit lazily, barely pressing his teeth against James’ skin. James could feel Alec’s cock, half-hard, against his own.

James desperately wanted to ignore it, but the feel of Alec pressed against him, from mouth to hips, seemed to be the only thing he  _ could _ think about. Even the thought of Oberhauser catching them started to slip away. He turned his head, burying his face in Alec’s hair and breathed in. God, he was in trouble.

Without a care in the world for their state, Alec cuddled even closer, one leg draped over James’ to keep him pinned. Alec released the bite slowly, only to lick over James’ skin, slow and hot. Even in human form, when Alec growled, James felt it deep in his bones. Alec licked again and changed position subtly, this time a harder, perhaps deliberate thrust of his hips against James’.

James worked to clamp down on the instant panic that welled up inside of him. This wasn’t normal. They  _ weren’t _ supposed to do this, and more importantly, he wasn’t supposed to  _ like _ it. They were two men.

_ This wasn’t normal _ .

But that didn’t stop him from pressing back into Alec, his breath stuttering at the friction between them. Unlike the women from his past, he could feel Alec’s growing interest. The idea of feeling it, of  _ knowing _ the other person’s arousal was intoxicating.

Alec’s next thrust was definitely deliberate, his cock hard and hot against James’ body. Softly growling with every exhale, Alec held tight and licked at James’ throat again. Then he nipped, harder than he’d bit James before, and breathed, “James.”

“Oh, God, Alec. We shouldn’t be doing this,” James whispered, the next thrust of his hips betraying his words.

Alec went still, drawing back just enough to meet James’ gaze with brilliant gold eyes. “Human rules,” he said with another contemptuous little growl, before he rubbed his cheek against James’. “James and Alec, human  _ and _ werewolf.” He tightened his hold on James, body tensing as if about to move. Then he rolled back, pulling James along, so James was sprawled half on top of him. “Not rules. James and Alec,” he insisted, pressing a kiss to the corner of James’ mouth.

James froze for barely a heartbeat.

_ Fuck it _ .

He turned his head to fully kiss Alec on the mouth. Just like last time, Alec held still for a moment before he bit at James’ lower lip. He thrust up, cock hot against James’ hip, and the motion sent shocks of pleasure through James’ cock, trapped beneath his own weight. One of Alec’s hands found his nape, holding him close; the other scratched down James’ back hard enough to sting.

James pushed back against Alec, the pleasure too much and not enough. He wanted to reach down, to wrap his hand around both of their cocks, but if their kiss yesterday had been a first for Alec, he didn’t know how Alec would react to  _ that _ . This was new to James, too, and as much as he  _ wanted _ , he knew he needed to take this slow. For both of them.

Alec, though, saw no reason to hold back. His thrusts grew insistent, and he gave up trying to kiss properly at all. With a soft sound, more like a whine than a growl, he pulled away from the kiss so he could sink his teeth into the base of James’ neck, biting hard enough to bruise.

The sensation was glorious. The girls in his life had been beautiful, sensitive creatures who preferred him to be slow and sensual. He’d always held back because  _ they _ had.

But not Alec. He didn’t seem to worry or care if he hurt James. And  _ God _ , the idea that  _ he _ couldn’t hurt Alec either...

A new surge of  _ want  _ passed through James, and he bit down hard on Alec’s neck, reveling in the taste of salty skin over taut muscle. When Alec pressed up against James’ mouth, want quickly gave way to need, driving James to sink his teeth in as hard as he could.

He pulled Alec in closer, grinding his cock against Alec’s, faint groans escaping them both with every thrust. Then, as the fire started to burn low in his belly, he backed off. He wanted to make sure Alec came first.

In the next instant, he felt a sharp dig in his backside, too sharp to be Alec’s human nails, and James jerked away instinctively, thrusting down against Alec’s body. Alec whined and bit James’ shoulder, desperately bucking up against him. Distantly, James remembered Alec’s claws, and while he could feel them pressed into his back, there was no  _ pain _ . Alec was holding himself in check.

Teeth clenched to keep silent, James gave in, rutting fiercely against Alec’s body. This was no soft, sweet, gentle build of pleasure but something savage and raw, overwhelming him like a sudden storm breaking overhead.

He finished in a rush that left him shaking and dizzy, senses overwhelmed, body and mind utterly sated. Little shocks of pleasure sparked over his skin from Alec’s hands and tongue, the touches now lazy and contented. James didn’t feel a hint of panic or horror at what they’d just done, no fear that Oberhauser could burst into the room at any moment.

James turned to nuzzle against Alec’s neck, placing a light kiss just behind his ear. “You okay?” he asked.

Alec growled and nipped James’ shoulder, quick but sharp. His petting slowed, and his hands came to a rest at the small of James’ back. “James good,” he said roughly.

James hummed in satisfaction. He turned to rest his head against Alec’s shoulder. “James is  _ very _ good. We should probably get up soon, though. We need to clean up.”

At that moment, James heard movement coming from Oberhauser’s bedroom. If Oberhauser had just woken up, James and Alec had just over five minutes before the old man came knocking.

Instead of moving, Alec just growled again. “Clean. Not blood.”

James laughed. “I know it’s not blood, but it’s still something we can’t have on our bodies. Not in front of people, and  _ especially _ not in front of Oberhauser.” Suddenly wary, he sat up and caught Alec’s eye. “He can’t know we did this,” he insisted. “All right?”

Alec stared at James. Then he growled again and twisted out from under James, dropping out of the bed to land silently on four paws. He trotted to the door, then looked back at James.

James instantly felt a pang of regret. He didn’t want Alec to leave, but as a human or wolf, it was a no-win scenario if Oberhauser came in. He’d yell at Alec over the fur or he’d yell at them both for being alone together, naked.

With a resigned sigh, James got up and walked over to the door. Before opening it, though, he scratched lightly behind Alec’s ears and said, “If the semen is still on you under your fur, then once you change back to human, clean it off before heading to the couch.” He put his hand on the handle to open it. “Also,  _ put your clothes back on _ .” He smiled at Alec and opened the door for him.

Alec huffed out a sharp breath as though frustrated. James could almost hear him complaining about  _ human rules _ again. His tail lashed against James’ leg as he passed, trotting silently out into the hallway and down the stairs.

~~~

“Feel like telling me where we're going?” James pushed the low hanging branch out of the way and stepped around, walking carefully to avoid any roots as well. Alec had no trouble navigating this seemingly untouched area of forest, so James stayed alert and tried to keep up.

“Home. More home,” Alec said, glancing back at the trees behind James. He grinned and took hold of the hem of his shirt, pulling it up over his head without bothering to unbutton it.

James glanced back, noticed they were out of sight from the house, then turned to smile at Alec. Instead of telling him it was okay to shift, James held up a hand to stop him. He needed to apologise for earlier.

“Can you wait one second?” he asked, trepidation creeping into his voice.

“Clothes  _ itch _ ,” Alec complained, looking down to fumble with the buttons on his trousers.

James stepped closer and reached out to take Alec’s hand, stopping him. When he looked up so their eyes met, James pulled him in closer. “All right. But before you do...” He leaned in to place a light, tentative kiss on Alec’s lips. “I’m sorry for shoving you out this morning,” he said quietly. “After what happened, it wasn’t fair to you. Even if it was necessary. I just...” He looked away, guilt and shame warring for dominance within him. Finally he looked back at Alec. “I just don’t want us to get in trouble. If we get caught, Oberhauser won’t let us be friends anymore.”

Alec pushed against James, hands moving to James’ hips. “Human rules,” he muttered, rubbing his face against James’. Then he turned and nipped James’ throat, a quick, stinging bite that he soothed with his tongue.

It felt good, having Alec this close. Even if it was  _ wrong _ , at least by society’s standards, it felt  _ right _ to James. Like Alec was already his, already family. He hadn’t felt this way about anyone in years — not since his parents had died. As much as he loved and respected Oberhauser as a father figure, it wasn’t quite the same. He always knew that one day he and Oberhauser would go their separate ways. But with Alec... He couldn’t readily see himself ever letting Alec go.

He carded his fingers through Alec’s hair, holding him pressed against James’ throat. For one insane second, he desperately wanted to tell Alec to bite him. But that was stupid on a multitude of levels. Oberhauser had said a werewolf bite could turn a human. And as much as James wanted Alec, he wasn’t sure he wanted  _ that _ .

With a quiet, contented growl, Alec wrapped his arms around James’ body, pulling him closer. He kept licking — long, slow sweeps of his tongue up to James’ ear. His nails, still human, scratched against James’ back through his jacket.

“ _ My _ James.”

“My Alec,” James whispered back.

And he meant it. God, did he ever.

He turned to press a kiss against Alec’s ear. “We should get going.”

Alec stepped away, looking back down at his trousers, and resumed the fight against his buttons. With a laugh, James reached out and gently pushed Alec’s hands out of the way, opening the offending trousers himself. He crouched down to remove Alec’s boots and then, without standing back up, pulled Alec’s trousers down and off.

_ No pants _ , James realised. And while Alec wasn’t fully erect, he was definitely showing signs of... interest. He reached for James, scratching lightly at his scalp, staring with eyes that had started turning from green to gold.

James ran his hands up the back of Alec’s thighs and looked again at Alec’s cock. Alec’s  _ interest _ was becoming more evident by the second, but James couldn’t bring himself to move any closer. He wasn’t even sure he  _ wanted _ to. Alec was obviously special to him, and James did want him. But this was just... different. Unlike earlier, this was literally staring him in the face.

With a sigh, James pulled away and looked down. “I’m sorry,” he said again, feeling unaccountably guilty. For the second time  _ that morning _ he’d rejected Alec. At this rate, Alec wouldn’t want anything to do with him by sundown.

Alec tipped his head, still petting James’ hair. “James?” he asked, crouching down. He leaned close to rub their faces together again.

James leaned into the touch. “I can’t do it, Alec,” he pleaded. He rested his hand on Alec’s back. “I’ve just spent too long being told that this is unnatural. This — us. It’s considered wrong for two men to do what we did.  _ Really wrong _ .” James gave Alec a squeeze and then sat back to rest his hand on Alec’s face. “People have been killed for doing what we did. And it’s —”

Alec cut him off with a low, threatening growl. His eyes went entirely gold, and his claws pricked at James’ scalp.  _ “My James,” _ he snarled, one hand sliding down to James’ nape, holding him tightly.  _ “Not kill.” _

“Oh, Alec,  _ no _ .” He rested his forehead against Alec’s. “No one’s going to kill me. I just want —”

Another growl was James’ only warning. Alec pulled him close, claws digging into his skin, and then James found himself pressed against fur. The growl gave way to a long, ear-piercing howl that cut through the silence of the forest, echoing off the sides of the valleys.

The sound bore into James, vibrating against his very bones.

Distantly, he heard answering howls — first one, then another, and then more, until the forest’s peace shattered. Every human instinct screamed for him to run, but Alec was holding him, almost too tightly to breathe.

He scratched at Alec’s back, trying to both seek purchase and pull him back. “Alec, what —” He got his hands under Alec and pushed, but the wolf wouldn’t budge. “ _ What the fuck is going on? _ ”

Alec’s howl died out, but the others went on, seeming to ricochet back and forth across the valley. Gently, Alec flattened his hands against James’ back. He stroked down without a hint of claws, though his body was still covered in fur. Slowly, he eased his tight grip on James and ducked his head to rub his furry muzzle against James’ face and neck.

James shivered at the sudden shift in Alec’s grip on him. Slowly, he wound his hands around Alec’s back and stroked gently through the heavy white fur. “What  _ was _ that?” he asked more calmly.

Alec nuzzled against James’ neck. A cold, wet nose rubbed at his hair. Fangs scraped against his skin.

Then Alec bit, jaws closing over James’ shoulder, teeth pressing without piercing skin. He pushed closer, shoving James onto his back, almost suffocating James under his weight as his fur disappeared, fangs receding into blunt human teeth before he broke the bite.

“My James,” Alec insisted, pushing up just enough to look down at James with eyes that were still gold.

The hard ground dug into James’ back, but he stayed where he was. He could see the protectiveness in Alec’s eyes. His wolf needed to know he was okay. “No one’s trying to hurt me, Alec,” James said bluntly. “Right now, I’m fine.” He wanted to tell Alec that might not always be the case, not if they continued with that they were doing, but he suspected that would probably set Alec off again.

Alec stared at him, lifting his head only when the last of the howls died out. “My James today and tomorrow and more tomorrow,” he insisted. “Not hunt James.  _ Not kill James _ .”

“I’m not going anywhere, Alec. I promise, okay?” He pulled Alec down for a quick, fierce kiss. “No one is going to take me away from you.”

The truth was, if he were being honest with himself, that wasn’t even what scared him. In that instant, he was petrified that someone might try and take  _ Alec _ away from  _ him _ . As much as he knew Alec wanted to protect him, there was no way he was going to allow anything to happen to Alec.

“James not...” Alec huffed a warm breath against James’ neck. “Words,” he complained before he bit James’ neck, holding the bite for a few seconds before he licked. “Alec kill...” He trailed off with another huff, leaning his forehead against James’. “Alec kill  _ all _ . James mine.”

Amused, James laughed quietly. “You don’t need to kill anyone. We just have to be careful, that’s all.” He pressed his hands to Alec’s cheeks and pulled him in for another kiss, this one slow and indulgent. When the kiss ended naturally a few moments later, he added, “We need to keep this to ourselves, for now.”

Alec stared at James for a few seconds. Then he pushed up and off James, catching hold of his jacket to tug James up with him. “Home,” he said, pulling James close.

“Our home?” James asked. He shifted to wrap his arms around Alec. “You said you had more than one. I’d like to see the others, if they’re close.”

Alec nodded. “Four home.” He gave James a frustrated look, then rested his head against James’ shoulder. “Words. More home... Not kill? Not hunt?”

James shook his head. Was Alec saying he didn’t hunt at his other homes? “I’m not sure what you mean. Do you only hunt for food by our home?”

Alec tipped his head. Then he stepped back and crouched down, pulling James with him. He extended one hand, and this time James saw his fingernails thicken and extend into long, curved claws. He drove four claws into the earth, digging four holes. “Four home.” Then he pointed at one, saying, “Alec.” He pointed at another, saying, “Hunt, not Alec. Not hunt. Not kill.” Then, in German, he said, “Twenty-five per cent probability. Not, not, not.”

James stared incredulously, first at the markings on the ground, then at Alec. “Did you just —?” James stopped because he  _ had _ to have heard Alec wrong. It wasn’t possible that his wolf couldn’t remember ‘thank you’ or ‘excuse me’ but he both knew and understood the concept of probabilities. Oberhauser had said Alec was good with maths, but still...

And yet, Alec was right. If James understood  _ him _ , then Alec was trying to tell him that if they moved around from home to home, there was less of a chance they would be found by those that might want to harm either of them.

James couldn’t help but laugh. He smiled easily at Alec and said, in Russian, “That’s correct. It’ll be harder for people to find us if we don’t stay in once place for too long.” And James was fine with that. He hadn’t had a real home since his parents had died. As long as Alec was there, that would be good enough for him.

Alec bared his teeth in a sort of smile. “Not hunt James and Alec. Not  _ find _ James and Alec,” he said, standing. “Home.”

James stood up and brushed himself off. He looked up at Alec and nodded. “Home.”


	9. Chapter 9

Alec’s oldest home was far from the Custodian’s cabin, up the side of the valley, well away from where most of the other werewolves lived. Whatever threat there was, no one would find James there — and Alec would keep him there as long as necessary.

At some point, keeping James safe had become Alec’s top priority. His  _ only _ priority.

The cave was difficult to reach, accessed through a narrow crevice high up a rock wall. A stream nearby splashed down the wall into a pool that was ice cold throughout the year, fed by the snow that never melted on the peaks high overhead. Alec made James climb up first, wary that he might slip, but he proved surprisingly skilled at climbing without the tools most humans needed.

He was more than half wolf already, well-suited for surviving outside human homes, away from human rules. James could stay with him through the warm season; he wouldn’t have to leave until snows threatened, when he’d need to go somewhere warmer.

The rock crevice was irregular and almost too narrow for Alec to fit in human form. Usually he’d shift; this time, he turned sideways and inched along behind James, who felt his way fearlessly into the darkness. Alec listened to the echoes and breathed deeply, smelling the air, so he knew when James stepped out onto the sandy floor of what had once been an underground pond.

“Fire,” Alec said, slipping past James to get to the shelf he’d built of rocks and wood against one wall. He crouched down, eyes already adjusted to the trace light that lingered this deep into the rock. For days, he’d bartered kills to get every lighter the Custodian was willing to trade, so he could keep several at each of his homes. He found one and lit it, then used the flame to guide him to each of the candles he’d stuck to rock outcroppings around the cave.

The single chamber was long and narrow. Itchy blankets were piled over fresh pine branches, still springy, lining a hollow in the sand. He’d covered the blankets with a single length of fabric that was soft and tightly woven — more pleasant on bare skin or fur. He had a small hearth that he could use to cook meat or fish if he felt like bothering. Cracks in the walls would draw the smoke up and out, though the smell would linger for days.

His assortment of human artefacts was piled near the nest of blankets: a metal bucket filled with fresh water, five books on mathematics, a few broken pencils that were too dull to write properly, and a book of blank paper. He had clothing there as well, at the Custodian’s insistence. He picked up a handful of it and showed it to James.

“Warm,” he said, holding out the pile of fabric.

James shook his head. “I’m okay right now.” He glanced around at all the items Alec had. “You have a lot more here than at our home.” He nodded at the books. “Is that where you learned about maths?”

With a sense of relief, Alec sat, pulling James down with him. Numbers were so much easier than words, and he was worried that James would get frustrated at his inability to communicate. He didn’t have any of his earliest books — he’d given those back to the Custodian — but he picked up the easiest one.

“Algebra,” he said, putting the book down in front of James. He opened the cover and flipped the pages to the first formulas, skipping over the words that made no sense. He wasn’t even certain what language this book was in. “Patterns.”

James laughed. He reached out and flipped the pages, not really looking at any one of them. “I know algebra, but I was always better with languages. I was fluent in three and proficient in two more by the time my parents died.” He looked up and grinned. “Now I’m fluent in six.”

And Alec couldn’t properly speak one. He leaned against James’ shoulder, turning to breathe in his scent. There was something calming about him. Alec leaned in closer and licked, tasting his skin, pressing his tongue to feel James’ pulse.

James wrapped an arm around Alec and tilted his head to the side to allow Alec better access to his neck. “Alec...”

Alec growled against James’ skin. “Say Alec more,” he prompted, loving the way his name sounded in James’ voice.

“You like that?” James laughed, low and delicious. “Alec...” he all but purred and pressed Alec’s mouth against his neck.

Alec licked and nudged at James, turning him away from the book. James tasted better here — he tasted of the forest and sweat and himself, not soap and human things. And here, there was no taste of fear and confusion.

James reached up with one hand and started to unbutton his shirt, his hands shaking, his breath stuttered. “Alec, one second,” he said. “Let me get this off.”

Alec had clothes. He slipped one claw free and sliced through the fabric beside the buttons. “James,” he growled under his breath, pushing the fabric away. He moved down to James’ chest, licking over strong, sleek muscles. James’ heart was beating faster, louder — Alec could almost hear the rush of blood through his body as his scent changed subtly, just as it had that morning.

Satisfaction coiled through Alec. Better than a clean kill after a long hunt, better than a run through the first snow, better than solving a complex equation. He’d never felt anything so  _ perfect _ as he had that morning, and he wanted James to feel it, too.

James pulled off the ruined shirt with a laugh and laid back on the ground, pulling Alec with him. “Try not to rip my trousers. The shirt is fine, but different trousers as well would look suspicious.” He ran his hands up Alec’s chest; the touch scattered Alec’s thoughts. “That said, we really  _ should _ rid me of them. Quickly.”

Alec had enough trouble with his own buttons, much less someone else’s. He bit at James’ collarbone and crawled over him, skin coming alive where he pressed against James’ body. The need he’d felt this morning was back, burning even hotter, now that he knew what pleasure he and James could experience. “More,” he whispered before he bit again.

James reached down, awkwardly fumbling to get his own boots off. He managed to get the laces undone before kicking them off. Quickly he pushed his hands between their bodies to unbuttoned his trousers. He looked up expectantly at Alec. “I need you to lift up so I can slide these off.”

With a frustrated growl, Alec pushed up onto all fours. James shoved layers of clothing down and out of the way. As soon as he kicked free of the fabric, Alec sprawled on top of him, revelling in the heat and need he felt radiating from James. He inched down, licking and breathing deeply, wanting to taste every inch of James’ body — to  _ know _ James better than he even knew himself.

James arched beneath him, breath catching, hands sweeping over Alec’s shoulders and hair. Alec caught his hips and held him down, licking along the valleys between his muscles, nipping over his ribs. James’ cock was hard against Alec’s chest; every breath Alec took made James’ heart beat harder and faster.

That, Alec decided, was good.

Deliberately, he pressed down, listening to the way James’ breathing changed.  _ Very good _ , he thought, and did it again, sliding further down.

James breath hitched in a different way and he caught Alec’s arm. “Alec, wait.” He gripped Alec’s arm hard, panting. He looked down, fear and uncertainty etched across his face where it hadn’t been just moments before. “We can’t — I mean, I want to — but it’s not —”

“James,” Alec interrupted, catching the edges of what he was trying to say with his words. “Werewolf home, James. Not human home. Not human rules.”

James stared at him for a long time. Then slowly, tentatively, he nodded. “You’re right.” He reached up to trace one hand along Alec’s jaw. “No one will find us here.”

Alec bit back a frustrated huff. He’d said that earlier — that was the whole point of having so many homes. Instead, he went back to tasting James’ skin, licking down over his abdomen to his cock, where a drop of moisture had gathered at the tip.

James bucked up, catching himself at the last moment. “Jesus Christ,” he shot out. He reached down to grip Alec’s hair, his blue eyes taking on their own dark edge. “God, Alec, just a little bit slower, all right? I won’t last long like that.”

Frustrated at the dissonance between James’ words and his body language, Alec puzzled out what he could and ignored the rest. He lowered his head, liking the feel of James’ fingers tight in his hair, and licked again.

More slowly.

Under the softer touch, James moaned. “Oh, God, Alec, yes.” He murmured, undulating his hips. “That’s  _ perfect _ .”

Finally, James was making sense. Alec settled down over James’ legs and gave up on his plan to lick everywhere. Good as James tasted, Alec liked his reaction more. So he indulged, running his tongue up the length of James’ cock and over the tip and back down again, all the way to his hair. He turned his head to one side and curled his tongue around, between his cock and his body. James’ dark gold hair distracted him, and he moved to the side to nuzzle at it, feeling its texture.

With a very faint whimper, almost too soft for Alec to hear, James’ fingers tightened in Alec’s hair, trying to tug him back. Alec turned his head to lick the side of James’ cock, pressing harder this time, feeling the slide of soft skin over the hardness underneath. Then, unwilling to be distracted from his exploration, he ducked lower, moving to the soft skin between James’ legs. His balls were heavy, the skin drawing up tight. Alec pressed his tongue against his balls, between them, as far under them as he could reach.

“Alec, please,” James said in a broken whisper. He gently pushed his hips up, his cock pressing against Alec’s mouth. “ _ Please. _ ”

Pleased to finally have a clear reaction that matched James’ words, Alec pushed James’ legs apart and settled between his thighs. He licked farther down, until his tongue found soft, hot skin just behind James’ balls. A hard press made James’ hips buck up; Alec caught his hip bones and pushed back down, holding him still.

James’ heart was racing. His breath was coming in sharp, harsh gasps. Alec licked back up, over and between James’ balls, to the base of his cock.

Suddenly, the grip in Alec’s hair became brutally hard. He looked up to see James staring at him, his eyes having gone so dark, there was only the slightest rim of blue around the edges. His breath coming in short pants, James growled, “I think that’s enough taking it slow, don’t you?”

Alec faltered. The smell of James’ desire — his  _ need _ — was almost overwhelming. But what exactly did he want? What was under his words?

Tentatively, he licked again, trying to keep his eyes fixed on James —

Who continued to stare at him. Then James’ eyes widened fractionally, and his mouth quirked up in a half-smile. “You need to take it in your mouth,” he instructed. “This feels  _ amazing _ , but that’s what feels best. That’s how we finish this.”

Now Alec  _ knew _ he was misunderstanding. Unless he shifted, there was no way James’ cock would fit. Not entirely, at least.

“Alec human,” he said tentatively. “Alec... more werewolf.”

James flinched. “No,” he answered bluntly. “You can’t be a werewolf, not for this.” He glanced uncertainly down at Alec. “I could show you...” he offered, tentatively.

Relieved, Alec said, “Yes. Good.” A demonstration would work much better than confusing words.

James took a deep breath and pushed up, guiding Alec to lay down on his back. He rested on his side next to Alec and glanced down the length of Alec’s body again, muttering something under his breath, too low for even Alec to hear. After another deep breath, he leaned over to lay a trail of kisses down Alec’s abdomen. When he reached Alec’s cock, he froze for barely a second before continuing with a line of open-mouthed kisses down the length of Alec’s shaft.

The pleasure that shot through Alec’s body was nothing like what he’d felt that morning. He growled, claws digging into the sand, fur tingling against his skin, urging him to shift. He held back, fisting his hands, claws cutting into his own palms as he snarled, “James.”

James hummed, but didn’t stop what he was doing. Just as Alec had done, James licked a stripe up the underside of Alec’s cock then back down before nuzzling against Alec’s balls. Alec spread his legs, writhing deeper into the sand to keep from thrusting up against James, terrified suddenly of hurting him. James licked and sucked, taking each one into his mouth in turn. Then, all of a sudden he pulled away to kneel up over Alec and smile. “Does that feel good?”

Alec growled through clenched teeth. He wanted more — he  _ needed _ more — but he couldn’t let go. He couldn’t risk hurting James.  _ His _ human.

James smile faltered at Alec’s growl, uncertainty coming back into his eyes. “Do you not like it? Should I stop?”

It took effort for Alec to catch his breath. He forced his fingers to uncurl; blood trickled over his skin before the wounds began to close. “James.” The name came out broken and slurred. Desperately hanging onto his human self, Alec said, “James. More. More...  _ good _ .”

James sigh sounded something close to relief and he smiled again. “All right, good. More is good.” He slid back down, settling between Alec’s thighs. This time, he wrapped his fingers around the base of Alec’s cock, giving him a few short strokes.

Alec bit his own tongue to keep from shifting and letting out a howl that might bring down the cave. He pushed up into James’ hand almost hard enough to throw him off.

James froze, his eyes going wide at Alec’s reaction. Then, with another smile — this one much more wicked — he leaned over and took Alec’s cock into his mouth.

The building pleasure tore through him like a storm. He gasped for breath, heart pounding hard enough to burst, and barely kept from completely shifting. He dug his claws into the sand, distantly feeling James’ mouth and hands and breath, hearing him cough and gasp. James’ heart was beating almost as quickly as Alec’s was.

Worried, Alec kicked at the sand and fought to pull James into his arms. He buried his face against James’ neck, wishing he knew what to do or what to say.

“Hey. It’s okay,” James said, his voice soothing. He rubbed his hand up and down Alec’s back. “Didn’t you like that?”

Slowly, Alec pulled back and met James’ eyes. “James,” he said, voice a rough, soft growl. Tentatively, he leaned in and licked at James’ mouth, then froze, catching a new taste.  _ His _ .

Though he had no words for this, he finally understood. He licked again, saying, “James more,” as he twisted to get one hand down between their bodies. James’ cock was hard, though not as hard as it had been before. Alec slid his fingers down over soft skin and licked James’ lips again. “More,” he repeated, breathing the word against James’ mouth.

James whimpered and turned to fully kiss Alec. “Yes. More,” he stuttered out, sounding almost as incoherent as Alec. “Now.”

Alec closed his eyes for a few seconds, remembering exactly what James had done for him. Then he pushed up onto his hands and knees and crawled backwards down James’ body. He licked across the tip, tasting James — tasting the difference between James and himself. Then he licked under the tip, raising James’ cock enough to take it between his lips, careful not to let his teeth touch fragile human skin.

He tasted  _ good _ . The heat and hardness and blood racing under his skin was incredible to feel. Alec licked hard, trapping James’ cock between his tongue and the roof of his mouth. He lowered his head further —

Then he coughed and gagged, pulling back, stomach churning as if he’d eaten his prey too quickly.

“Gag reflex,” James noted, his voice rough. He’d propped up on his elbows and was watching Alec, lust and  _ want _ deep in his eyes. “It’s hard for everyone. You don’t have to go down so far if you don’t want to. It’ll still feel good.”

He wanted to do whatever James had done for him, but he couldn’t remember the details — which was unthinkable. He had an almost  _ perfect _ memory for physical actions, but everything James had done was lost under a fog of absolute pleasure.

After another breath, Alec got himself under control. He licked at his lips, tasting James, and lowered his head again.

This time, he licked much more slowly and carefully before taking James’ cock into his mouth again. James grunted, his muscles going tense, as if trying to keep from pushing up into Alec.

_ Good  _ , Alec thought, remembering feeling the same urge. Experimenting showed him just how deep he could take James’ cock into his mouth. He opened his mouth a bit more so he could lick, wetting James’ skin so he could move more easily, and he listened to James’ heart and breath.

As long as he didn’t go too far, he didn’t choke at all. He  _ liked _ this, in fact — the closeness, the intimacy. He liked making James feel incredible.

Soon, he had a rhythm that let him take James’ cock just a little deeper. James’ breaths matched Alec’s movements — and then got faster, encouraging Alec to speed up, to press harder with his tongue and lips. He could sense subtle changes in James’ body — his smell, his taste, even his body heat.

And then James made a choked, desperate sound. His body tensed, hips thrusting up, heart pounding as his breath hitched. His cock pulsed hard against Alec’s tongue, and he tasted something new, subtly different from the taste clinging to James’ mouth before. He could almost  _ feel _ James’ pleasure crackling against his skin, like lightning in a thunderstorm.

Shuddering slightly, James fell back against the sand, his breathing slowing down in tandem with his heartbeat. He twisted his fingers in Alec’s hair with no real force behind the grip. “Alec, that was...” He didn’t finish what he was trying to say; he just laid back, staring at the ceiling.

With a contented growl, Alec crawled up on top of him, sharing body heat, mingling their scents. He licked at James’ throat, tasting the changes in his body. “Good,” Alec whispered, licking again, pleased that he’d done this to James.  _ For _ James. “Mine.”

“Yours,” James said, repeating Alec’s words back to him. He wrapped a leg around Alec’s and pulled down, pressing the wolf impossibly closer. He tilted his head to expose his neck invitingly. “And  _ mine _ .”


	10. Chapter 10

_ In. Out. In. Out. _

James concentrated on breathing. He ran fingers up and down Alec’s back and concentrated on breathing. Even when he’d lost his parents, he’d never been so overwhelmed. He felt like he was being tugged in every direction all at once. Sated and tense, elated and afraid; everything fought for dominance inside of him. But it all boiled down to one thought.

He could never lose Alec. Not anymore.

He wondered if this was what love felt like. With all of his past girlfriends and lovers, he’d never felt a true connection to any of them. Even the ones he actually liked, he’d never been afraid that they might leave him at some point. He expected it. Sometimes he even welcomed it.

But this... This was different. The idea that he and Alec might ever be separated both terrified and paralysed him. It wasn’t until Alec let out a low growl and shifted atop James that he realised he’d slowly been tightening his grip around Alec’s body.

“Good,” Alec murmured with another slow lick over James’ throat.

James sighed happily, some of the tension easing, both with Alec’s words, as well as his attention to James. “It was  _ very _ good.” He turned his head to kiss Alec, slow and languid. He could taste himself on Alec’s lips. He expected to be repulsed by it, but he wasn’t. He  _ liked _ it. He licked along the seam of Alec’s mouth, revelling in the mingled flavours of Alec and  _ him _ .

“James  _ more _ ,” Alec said.

James laughed. “It’s going to have to wait a bit.” He nipped at Alec’s bottom lip. “I won’t be able to get it up for a while, and I suspect, neither will you.”

Alec pulled back and gave James a puzzled look. “Words,” he said uncertainly.

James opened his mouth to respond, but stalled when he realised he was about to explain  _ sex _ to Alec. The notion caught him completely wrong footed, especially considering how fantastic the sex had just been.

“Well,” James started, glancing around. God, this was awkward for him. “After sex, our bodies don’t...  _ react _ as quickly as they had earlier. We’re, um, too sensitive. We have to wait for our bodies to, um” — he glanced around again, searching for the right words — “calm down?”

He gazed questioningly at Alec. He had no idea if any of that had made sense.

Alec stared back at him. “James... sick,” he said tentatively. Then he sniffed.

James narrowed his eyes, confused. “What? I’m not sick...” When Alec’s words finally sunk, James eyes went wide in understanding. “No! No, I’m not sick. Honestly.” He started to laugh, the absurdity of the idea helping to bleed out the awkwardness he felt. “Alec, this is  _ normal _ . All humans go through this. I bet even you go through this.” He reached down between their bodies, taking Alec’s soft cock in his hands. Alec arched up, head dropping to stare down at James’ hands. “See what I mean?”

“James,” Alec said uncertainly, “not... not...” He trailed off in a frustrated growl, twisting away from James. He threw himself down on his back beside James. “Not words. Not... Not yesterday and yesterday and...  _ Not _ ,” he said, waving a hand down his body.

“You’ve never had sex before,” James said slowly, stupidly. He thought he knew that, but there was something he was missing in Alec’s words.

“Never,” Alec muttered, turning to give James a curious look. “Not yesterday and yesterday. Word never.”

James nodded. “Yes. That means never.”

“Never,” Alec said, reaching down to touch James’ cock — then his own.

James cock gave a sad little twitch, and he shivered at the touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “I figured as much,” he breathed out. He reached up to run his fingers along Alec’s jaw. “That’s okay, you know. It’s okay that you’ve never been with anyone else before.”

“Never... more words,” he prompted. He dragged his hand up James’ body, rolling onto his side, and touched James’ mouth. “Words.”

Alec meant something else. But what? James gave a tiny shake of his head, frustrated that he couldn’t understand. Alec had never had sex, but it was more than that. What could be more than being a virgin?

_ Unless... _

James breath caught and he reached up to cup Alec’s head in his hands. “Alec, have you never even had an orgasm?” When Alec’s eyes narrowed in confusion, James continued. “That feeling at the end. Like your whole body had lit up.” He leaned in to place a light kiss on Alec’s lips. “Have you never felt that before?”

“Felt,” Alec repeated. He turned his hand, showing four bloody scabs on his palm, like the marks from fingernails but deeper. From claws. “Never felt  _ good _ ,” he said hesitantly.

A flare of shock welled up inside James, there and gone in an instant before a new feeling took its place. Pride.

James purred, possessive and deep.  _ I did that _ , he thought smugly. It wasn’t just sex. Alec had never had an orgasm in his entire life.

And it was  _ James _ that brought it to him.

A vicious sense of satisfaction washed over him and he smiled before leaning in for another kiss. Alec was  _ his _ , thoroughly and absolutely. And James  _ wanted _ it, wanted him. Only moments before, he’d been terrified at the idea of losing Alec. Now he was certain he never would.

~~~

Alec crawled into the cave with a wriggling silver-scaled fish in his muzzle and another one in one clawed hand, fur dripping wet. As soon as he made it through the crevice, he stood and went right to the little fire James had built. Smoke crawled up the walls, drawn through the cracks, but the scent was strong enough to tickle Alec’s sensitive nose. He brought the fish to the fire and dropped them in the sand.

He crouched down, shifting out of his fur; water slid down his skin. “Fish good,” he said, hoping James was all right with fish for dinner. Alec could have hunted red meat, but it would have meant running farther away from the cave.

James looked up from where he’d been stoking the fire and smiled. “Fish works.” He picked up the offered fish and wiped off the sand. He tilted his head toward the pile of wood. “Can you hand be a couple of long branches I can skewer these on, please?”

Alec looked at the wood pile, then at the fish.  _ Wood for the fish, _ he thought. He was going to cook the fish. He’d need something to hold the fish over the fire, since the fire hadn’t burned down to coals. Understanding, he picked up two long, thin branches and then extended his claws so he could cut the branches to sharp points.

“More orgasm,” he said thoughtfully — hopefully — as he brought the branches to James. He sat down in the sand, nuzzling at James’ shoulder. Food then orgasm sounded like a very good plan for the rest of the day. The rest of the  _ season _ .

James snorted over the fish. “Soon. I promise.” He turned to smile at Alec, his eyes sparkling. “Glad to know you enjoyed it. This would be a lot more boring if you hadn’t.”

“Soon,” Alec repeated, leaning in to lick at James’ lips. “Soon. Word good. Soon orgasm. Soon food.”

James chased Alec’s tongue for a quick but intense kiss. “Don’t let Oberhauser hear you say any of that.” He shrugged and went back to skewering the fish. “The food part, he’d be okay with. But the rest of it would get you banned from the house. Possibly forever.”

The Custodian wouldn’t like what they’d done — not that morning and not here in the cave. Alec bared his teeth. “James and Alec home,” he said, slapping a hand down on the sandy cave floor. “James warm. Food. Orgasm.”

“I understand that, Alec,” James ground out, his teeth clenched as though he were frustrated. He looked up, a hint of anger in his eyes. “But we can’t stay here all the time. If I don’t go home, Oberhauser  _ will _ come looking for me.” He turned back to the fish, pushing the last piece on with more force than he had before. “We can’t live here forever.”

_ Forever, _ Alec thought. The word teased at his memory. His parents. “Forever... more tomorrow. More and more,” he said, looking to James.

James nodded, his eyes still on the fire in front of him. “Yes. All the tomorrows. Something we can’t do  _ here _ .”

_ Can’t _ . That was a bad word.

There would be no forever for James and Alec to share. Not here. That was what he was saying.

Not here, though... Why  _ not here _ ? The cave was safe shelter, warm and dry, with good fresh air and nearby water.

And no humans. Very few humans had the skill to find the cave. Even fewer would dare to try.

James wanted to live with humans.

Alec curled his lip at the thought.  _ Humans _ , he’d learned, were frustratingly inconsistent and needlessly complicated.

But if that was what James wanted... Alec sighed. James would have his humans. Alec wouldn’t let that get in the way. If James wanted humans, then Alec would learn to be one.

He sighed and leaned against James’ back, needing to be close. Without thinking, he shifted into his fur and coiled around James. One push sent James sprawling away from the fire, allowing Alec to climb up over his lap, nosing under his arms.

Surprisingly, James never let go of the branches. Holding the skewers of fish in one hand, he slipped his other fingers into Alec’s fur and leaned down to nuzzle between Alec’s ears. “We’ll figure it out,” he whispered. “More than anything, I promise you that.”


	11. Chapter 11

“It’s boring,” Alec muttered very softly, glaring at the books. “Books  _ true,  _ or books  _ interesting  _ . These books  _ boring  _ .”

James glanced down at the book in Alec’s hand. It was Tolstoy’s  _ Anna Karenina  _ . A good book, as far as classical literature went, but he could see why Alec didn’t like it. The last two books Alec had taken to had been Stoker’s  _ Dracula  _ and Dante’s  _ Inferno  _ .

With a sigh, he took the book out of Alec’s hand. “These books  _ are  _ boring. You have to remember the verb ‘to be’.”

“These books  _ are  _ boring.” Alec sprawled back on the couch, glancing towards the kitchen. “The — Oberhauser  _ is  _ gone,” he said, giving James a sly smile. “Sex?”

James laughed, returning Alec’s smile. In the four months they’d been together, Alec had taken every available opportunity to divest James of his clothing. Not that James minded. The sex  _ was  _ fantastic.

“Maybe later,” he offered. “I promised Oberhauser we’d work on your grammar and enunciation while he was gone.” He slid over a bit on the couch next to Alec. He thumbed through the book, not paying attention to any of the words. “Your English is much better, but your accent is still too thick.”

Alec huffed and pressed even closer to James, going right for his neck. He slid a hand over James’ thigh, finding the inseam of his trousers. In the last four months, he’d learned to use not just his mouth but his hands, to devastating effect. “Sex  _ is  _ more fun,” he said in a low, inviting growl before he nipped at James’ skin. “And you like your bed more than the cave.”

“That  _ is  _ true,” James conceded, teasing. He tilted his head to allow better access while shifting so Alec’s hand would slide up to his crotch. Alec was  _ such  _ a bad influence. “On both counts.”

For a brief moment, James’ mind drifted to the pleasure he and Alec had shared. Not for the first time he wondered if they were ready to take the final step — to have real, penetrative sex. So far, all they’d done was use their hands and mouths to get each other off. He hadn’t even mentioned to Alec there could be more than that. He told himself he was just trying to ease Alec in, but truthfully,  _ he  _ wasn’t ready. And he knew, if he talked to Alec about the possibility of penetrative sex, Alec would want to try it out.

_ Soon  _ , he promised himself.

“All books here are done or boring,” Alec muttered against James’ throat. His fingers found the spaces between buttons, pressing over James’ cock. James breath hitched at the touch. “You don’t like maths. Sex in bed. Run in forest. Sex in the forest.”

With a contented sigh, James reached back to card his fingers through Alec’s hair. “It’s too cold outside for that, remember? We tried a few days ago and it didn’t work.”

Alec gave a low, frustrated growl. “The cave?” he suggested. “The cave is warm. Stay tonight.”

“All right.” James turned his head and guided Alec in for a quick kiss, then went back to thumbing through the book. He needed to talk to Alec about the conversation he’d had with Oberhauser that morning, but he had no idea where to start. Oberhauser had mentioned that the change in weather meant they needed to head back to civilisation. And James had got the impression that Alec wasn’t meant to come with them. Something about Alec needing to stay in touch with his feral side.

Steeling himself, James set the book on the couch and took a deep breath. He moved over, away from Alec’s touch. Without looking back, he quietly said, “It’s probably a good idea anyway. It might be our last night at the cave for a while.” He picked at a loose thread in the seam of the cushion, still refusing to turn around, coward that he was. “Oberhauser said that it’s getting too cold and we — he and I — will need to head back to our other home soon.”

“Other home?”

“My home, in Scotland. I told you about it.” He glanced quickly at Alec, tension and panic creeping up his spine. Was he really supposed to leave Alec behind? “The one I lived in with my parents. I need to figure out what to do with it.” He gave a tight shrug. “What to do with my life.”

Alec’s hand slid over James’ shoulder, gripping tightly. “Stay with me.”

James barked out a laugh. “I want to. But I don’t belong here, Alec. I’m not a wolf, like you. I wouldn’t survive.”

But Alec would. In James’ world, Alec would survive, possibly even thrive. He’d made such ridiculous progress in the last four months, there was no reason he couldn’t keep going, if he stayed with James.

With a tiny spark of hope, James finally turned, pulling one leg up so he could fully face Alec. “You could come with me. Oberhauser thinks you need to stay with your own kind, but that’s bullshit. Wolves are making it work in human society every day. And besides, you don’t belong with the other wolves out here.” He reached up to cup Alec’s face, his hope taking on a determined edge. “You belong with  _ me  _ .”

Alec smiled as though relieved, but his eyes went gold, and James felt the sharp prick of claws on his shoulder. Startled, he opened his mouth to warn Alec to stay in control, but Alec gave a sudden, hard push, shoving James back against the arm of the couch.

“Alec!”

James’ shout was almost lost under a deep growl as Alec, in full wolf form, lunged at him, head ducked. His skull cracked hard against James’ jaw, throwing his head back, baring his throat.

Panic spiked through James. He grabbed at Alec’s fur and pushed with all his strength, but he couldn’t even budge the massive wolf. He had one glimpse of sharp white fangs before pain overwhelmed all rational thought, and his scream cut off as Alec’s jaws closed around his throat.

Wet heat spread over James’ body, filling his senses with the smell of blood. He gasped for breath, but his body didn’t seem to work anymore. He tried to scream without breath. His mouth filled with blood. It was everywhere, soaking into his clothes and the couch.

Oberhauser was going to be furious. James had to move. He tried to move, to fall to the floor, but something was on him, holding him down. He looked up through a haze and saw a familiar white muzzle, stained red.

_ Alec  _ .

Almost delicately, Alec lowered his head and licked at the blood. James’ chest constricted painfully. Alec was killing him. Alec was  _ eating  _ him. And after all of James’ training and boxing practice, he couldn’t even lift a hand to save his own life.

But it didn’t end. There was no darkness. No fading. Even the pain was gone. There was only the terror of drowning in his own blood. The betrayal of knowing his best friend — his  _ love  _ — was his killer.

Alec never stopped licking and chewing at James’ throat, and James felt it all. Every touch, every bite, even the way the blood on Alec’s muzzle got cold and sticky, smearing against James’ skin. He felt  _ everything  _ , even the fibres in his clothes and the scratchy sofa cushions that sagged in the middle. And though he wasn’t breathing, under the stink of blood and the smell of Alec’s fur, James caught a hint of woodsmoke, the greasy remains of the sausages they’d had for breakfast, the harsh soap Oberhauser used in the kitchen...

James didn’t die. He was dying, but  _ he didn’t die  _ . This was a nightmare. It was Hell, right out of that fucking Dante’s  _ Inferno  _ . He was dying, and he was aware of  _ every little thing  _ that was happening to him.

Thunder exploded nearby, and he screamed at the sudden pain in his ears. Alec let out a strangled, high-pitched yelp, and his fangs dug deeply into James’ flesh, hanging on tight. Someone screamed, and thunder echoed again.

Not thunder. A gunshot. The smell hit James, filling his nose, choking him. He tried to cough, but he had no breath.

And then he  _ did  _ .

He gasped, heart punching against his ribs. Blood flowed from his ravaged throat in hot bursts that didn’t stop. Alec didn’t stop licking, though he whimpered with every exhale, and the thunder — the  _ gunshot  _ — rang out again.

James struggled, feeling more blood flow down over his body. He grabbed at Alec, but instead of fur, he found bloody flesh.

_ Alec  _ was bleeding.

James’ next breath came without any pain at all. He coughed out blood, turning his head to spit over the side of the couch. Alec licked at James’ face —

And then he was gone, pulled off James with a loud, pained yelp. Oberhauser dropped to his knees beside the bloody couch, catching James by the shoulders to hold him down. He was saying something — shouting something — but James couldn’t hear over the loud pounding that filled his ears, matching the beat of his heart.

Overwhelmed, James twisted free, backhanding Oberhauser hard enough to throw him from the couch. With a terrified, furious snarl, James threw himself from the couch, clothes tearing to shreds. He tried to stand, but he had no balance. His claws dug into the old carpet as he fell, catching himself with long hands covered in tawny grey fur.

He heard a growl and turned, meeting familiar gold eyes. Alec’s white fur was peppered with blood at his muzzle and along his side and flank. He growled again, the sound low and comforting.

Awkwardly, James crawled forward. His legs were all wrong, his body off-balance. Alec staggered into reach, and James threw one furry, muscled arm over Alec’s body.

The fear vanished under a rush of comfort. Of  _ home  _ . James let out a ragged breath and buried his muzzle in Alec’s fur, breathing in his scent. Alec pushed closer, body shifting out of his true wolf form, though he didn’t lose his fur. He curled up against James, pulling James into his arms, gently raking claws through James’ fur.

Distantly, James felt something warm and dry laid over him, heavy with Oberhauser’s familiar scent. Oberhauser carefully tucked the blanket around both James and Alec, trapping their body heat. His hand, human and rough with calluses, stroked over James’ fur, between his ears.

“Easy, boy,” he said in a rough voice full of sympathy. “You’re all right now.”

Alec’s quiet growl was more comforting, though. James got as close as he could, until he didn’t know where his own fur ended and Alec’s began. Their heartbeats were in synch, matched perfectly, and every breath brought Alec’s comforting scent.

And then it hit him.

Muzzle. Claws. Fur.

He looked down over a long snout at his hands, seeing fur where flesh should be. He ran his tongue along razor-sharp teeth, long enough to kill. When he opened his mouth to speak, all that came out was a low growl. Oh, God...

_ Alec had changed him _ .

Panic returned in full force, but instead of lashing out, he pressed in closer to Alec. His mind told him to run away, but it was drowned out by his instincts screaming at him to seek comfort from the very wolf that had done this to him.

“James,” Oberhauser said very softly, though the sound was almost painfully loud to James’ ears. “You need to change back, boy. You need to remember your human skin.”

James fervently shook his head and pressed in closer to Alec. What the fuck did Oberhauser mean, remember his human skin? He could remember it clear as day; he’d  _ had  _ it barely ten minutes ago. He looked questioningly at Alec, hoping his wolf would have the answer.

Alec’s lip curled, baring long fangs at Oberhauser. His claws dug into James’ fur, pricking against his back without piercing skin.

“I know you don’t want to,” Oberhauser said nervously. “But you need to, boy. I can’t — I won’t lose you. I just need you to remember  _ who you are  _ .”

_ Fear  _ . Oberhauser was afraid, and James could  _ smell  _ it on him. The scent was as clear as the smell of the blood soaking the couch, the old man’s aftershave,  _ Alec  _ .

He turned his head to eye Oberhauser, assessing him. His posture was tense, his pupils dilated. As alert and aware as James had been before, he wouldn’t have necessarily picked up that Oberhauser was afraid. Now, that was all James could see.

James tightened his grip on Alec as he concentrated on Oberhauser’s words. He needed to remember who he was. That was what Oberhauser had said. He could do that.

He thought back to the first time he’d been with Alec; the way every nerve ending in his body had come alive at once. The way Alec felt pressed against him under the body-warm sheets in his room. The sensation of human hands, of bare skin, touching Alec’s body. How his legs had felt, with proper knees and ankles and feet.

He tensed, breath hitching, and tried to imagine pulling his fur back under his skin. Alec had always talked about his fur scratching at him from the inside —

And James  _ understood  _ . There was no pain as his bones shifted — just the deep, itchy tingling of his fur sinking back into his skin. His whimper turned into a groan. He shivered, wanting to let his fur back out, but he clung to the memory of his human self.

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered. He looked up into Alec’s gold eyes. “Alec,  _ what did you do?  _ ”

Alec’s shift was effortless, immediate, so much  _ easier  _ than James’ struggle had been. And though he was naked and bloody, though Oberhauser was right there, Alec didn’t let go of James. He just turned to lean back against the bloody couch, pulling James almost onto his lap. “We belong together.”

James shot a wary glance in Oberhauser’s direction. Well, it was too late now. He turned back to face Alec. “Yeah, but I didn’t think that meant —”

The sight of blood trickling down Alec’s body caught his eye and he froze mid-sentence. There were three distinct bullet holes in Alec’s side. Oberhauser had said that werewolves had extra healing abilities, but did that include bullet wounds?

James’ sudden fear for Alec had him fighting every instinct not to shift back into wolf form again. He reached out to touch Alec’s side but pulled his hand back at the last second. “Alec, what the hell? Are you okay?” He turned to glare at Oberhauser and snapped, “Will he be okay?”

Oberhauser got to his feet; James could hear the shift of his bones and the snap of his ageing, stiff tendons. “We’ll have to get the bullets out.” He looked at Alec, adding, “All I saw when I came in — I’m sorry.”

James cast a quick glance in Alec’s direction. He knew that apologies still meant nothing to Alec. For all his talents with math and languages, he still couldn’t grasp certain human concepts. Regret. Apology. How  _ words  _ were supposed to fix things that had already been done.

“James is mine,” Alec said.

Oberhauser turned to James. “Is that what you want, boy?”

James knew Oberhauser wasn’t stupid. If he hadn’t at least had some inkling of what was going on between James and Alec before, he certainly knew now. He wasn’t asking because he didn’t know. He was asking because he wanted to hear James say it.

With a resigned sigh, James nodded. “Yes sir. Alec is —” He lifted his chin to meet Oberhauser’s eye. “Alec is mine.”

Oberhauser looked down at the bloody, ruined carpet. Though he seemed stoic and calm, James could hear his heart racing. “All right,” Oberhauser said, turning to go to the kitchen. “I’ll get the medical kit. You’ll have to take the bullets out so he can heal.”

James didn’t bother to respond. Instead he turned back to Alec, placing a gentle hand against Alec’s jaw. He searched Alec’s face, but whatever answer he was looking for wasn’t there, just fierce determination and the pain from bullet wounds he was clearly trying to ignore. “Are you all right?”

After all these months of learning human ways, Alec’s smile seemed more natural, even though James could tell it took effort for him to remember. “We stay together, now. Forever.”

James’ instant trepidation at the idea of forever after only four months died under the bigger realisation of what forever meant. He wasn’t just a werewolf now; he was immortal. He knew he would age, but at some point that would stop, and he would stay that way forever.

He searched again inside himself for the fear at being with Alec until the end of time, but it wasn’t there. Alec was his. Alec was home. There wasn’t any part of James that didn’t believe that. It was more than just knowledge; it was truth. They belonged together.

No longer concerned if Oberhauser saw, James leaned in for a kiss that was deeper and more possessive than any kiss they’d ever shared. Alec was a mess, covered in both their blood, but James didn’t care. He needed Alec to feel this, to know that he hadn’t been wrong in choosing to turn James.

When the kiss broke, he rested his forehead against Alec’s and said, “Yes, we can. And we will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who came back and reread this and kudo’d/commented on the fic. I won’t have my work taken from me, and I’m happy to share them with you still.
> 
> Thank you to Brenda and Boop for always being there for me.
> 
> Finally a special thank you to everyone who read my story when I came forward and supported me, both in sympathy and empathy.
> 
> Original Notes below:
> 
> Thanks as always to rayvanfox for betaing, cheerleading, and supporting us through this story.


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